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(PILOT EPISODE #2 )
Season One DVD Episode 2; ‘EYES’
Starring; JOAN CRAWFORD, etc.
Written & Hosted By; Rod Sterling
Directed By; A young; STEVEN SPIELBERG
1969 DVD 3 Disc DVD Set
All Episodes of Season 1 and 3 Pilot Episodes Included.
Greetings once again, My little Half-Human, Half-‘Turkey-Cannibals’! Tis I, your ‘Horror/Cult Bone Babe’……..DITA DIRT NAP bringing you an updated Review again of the infamous ‘Horror Anthology’ TV Series Pilot Episode 2 entitled; ‘EYES’ with Dita-Fave; JOAN CRAWFORD.
This underrated Series wuz
spun-off from Rod Sterling’s ‘Sci-Fi TV Anthology’; ‘The Twilight Zone’.
Now though, one of DITA’s-Favorite TV Horror Anthologies is now out on DVD. It’s
the ‘NIGHT GALLERY’ First Season on DVD, witch includes all 3 Pilot Episodes and
all the first Season from ‘Universal’. Love it!!! DITA also hopes to Host this
Episode of ‘EYES’ with Joan Crawford As a mini-sode mash-up in the future Kids.
Any-who, The episode DITA will be focusing on this Review included on this cool disc is ‘EYES’. Back to ‘NIGHT GALLERY’ Season 1; this Season includes the first 3 Pilot Episodes Which are; ‘EYES’, ‘THE LITTLE BLACK BAG’ and ‘THEY’RE TEARING DOWN RILEY’S BAR’.
The guest Stars included in these 3 Pilot Episodes were; JOAN CRAWFORD, BURGESS MEREDITH, CARL REINER, RODDY MACDOWELL, OSSIE DAVIS, RICHARD KILEY, SAM JAFFE etc.
DITA loves the fact that every episode used a picture to frame every story. My favorite is the picture of JOAN CRAWFORD. This collection is a 3 disc set. It also includes guest stars: CARL BETZ, LARRY HAGMAN, JEFF COREY, SUZY PARKER. To see the ‘NIGHT GALLERY Intro’ click here> https://youtu.be/8rjIm4mcw3w
The episode DITA wants to focus on is the second story entitled (EYES with Miss CRAWFORD and directed by a very young SPIELBERG. Click here to see a Clip, Hon> https://youtu.be/5rVLeogPTI4
THE other 2 story are ”The Little Black Bag” and “They’re Tearing Down RILEY’S BAR. These are well acted and are well written and deliciously macabre!
Here’s DITA's low-down on this
interesting, culty episode. It wuz filmed with real movie film for a
possible theatrical release. She was as usual, very controlling on the set.
She also brought in her on lighting crew. (Hmmm, if you may recall in most
scenes in her films she was lit directly on the face in every scene, even in the
day light. (why should TV be any different? Lol!) Diva tactics seemed to be
firmly acted out by miss Crawford even in her TV appearances. Well, DITA
must say that Joan ( Don’t Fuck with me boy’s!!!) apparently knew what she wuz
doing by the looks of this episode. The sets, lighting, hair, wardrobe,
jewelry, camera angles, camera techniques, plus Direction and make-up, are all
eerie-ly perfectionist to a tee!
Crawford in DITA’s opinion wood have probably made a great neurotic Director her self, if she had lived longer. The colors in every scene are brilliant and eye catching. The direction of Mr. Spielberg is apparently focused and cutting-edge even now, showing his promise awaiting his future as a director. DITA say’s watch for the first scene with the camera closely following Crawford swiveling the chair she’s sitting in around for her DIVA- like entrance into the story. DITA must say, the Mr. Sterling’s quirky-you-can’t-take-your-eyes-off-me screen presence is wonderfully intact from the get-go.
A big screen version of “NIGHT GALLERY” has been recently announced. Also the rumor is that Steven Spielberg may come back to produce and direct the Film-Version in 2022! Lets hope, my little rotted pumpkin-pies! Can’t wait!!!
On with the story line of “EYE’S”. Joan brilliantly plays a wealth but blind, 5th Avenue 'rich-bitch' to the hilt! She decides to blackmail an Eye’s Surgeon into performing and eye surgery that will allow her to see for 12 hours only! Then a man deeply in financial debt reluctantly then desperately agrees to give up his eye sight so 'Miss Money Bags' Can see……..if only for a mere 12 hours.
After the surgery is completed Crawford has all her art work arranged just-so in front of her and gets ready to also see the sunrise. Just when she takes off the bandages, she sees the sun for a spit second, then everything goes dark.. she start yelling, bellowing, screaming her now infamous guttural dramatics as only Crawford can, all the while stumbling around the stairs of her lonely and dark 5th Ave apartment unaware of massive black-out in New York has taken place, at the most inopportune time.
A big surprising, dramatic ending with a twist and…………….CUT!!!
DITA loves a good ending like the one used in ‘EYES’ & know DITA never likes to tell the ending . As not to spoil it for those who have not been lucky enough to see this very cool, culty pilot episode. DITA thinks this episode with Joan could have been made into a brilliant feature length movie for theatrical release and wood have been another creative feather in Mr. Spielberg’s directing hat. There you go Hollyweird, I’ve just given you your next TV to big screen idea. Now, you just have to dig up Crawford Perform a little zombie voo-doo! Yikes, now that’s a scary thought…… JOAN CRAWFORD, Hollywood…modern day.
Ya gotta admit, wouldn’t it be cool to see an undead Crawford on “DANCING WITH THE STARS! Undead- reality television, Hmmmmmm. Hey, why aren't I on that Show? Uh I gotta go! Cuz there's a certain Agent I gotta call. LOL!
DITA gives this special DVD copy of the first season of NIGHT GALLERY including “EYES’ 3 SKULLS out of 3. a perfect score my little November ,Spider-bites!!! 'EYES' wood also make a great short-film to show at horror film Festivals!!!
also suggests this lovely, juicy, everything-butt-the-kitchen sink, Book
available on Amazon.com called; ‘JOAN CRAWFORD; THE ESSENTIAL BIOGRAPHY (Hard
To get yours tonight just click on the ‘Book-Icon’ next to DITA’s Review. It makes for excellent Traveling Reading-Material during the upcoming Holidays Dear!!!
next to that Book is my Standard Favorite; ‘CULT FLICKS AND TRASH PICS, From;
Video Hound, which has a great write-up about ‘Night Gallery’s’ Episode of;
‘EYES’ Starring; Joan.
As well just Click on that ‘Book-Icon’ to get you very own witch is Written about on Page 195.
So raise your Bottle of ‘PEPSI’
and toast ‘JOANIE- DEAREST’ tonight! Click Here to see a JOAN CRAWFORD PEPSI
Until next week, when DITA celebrates her 54th Birthday with a traditional Birthday-Horror Review,
DITA (‘Hit Me With Your Best Shot’) DIRT NAP
(To see that Music-Video Spoof of Crawford’s Mega-Slapping’ Mix’ set to Big 80’s Singer; PAT BENETAR’s Song; ‘Hit Me With Your Best Shot’, simply click Here, hon; > https://youtu.be/bVhxBvOeoTs)
P.S. DITA notes there are no ‘Extras’ on this disc.
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
As always also check out these cool sites at the following;
www.thenewbev.com ( For New Beverly Cinemas Nov. Schedule! DITA & RENFIELD will be Attending their 'CARTOON CLUB"-The Thanksgiving Edition this weekend on Saturday November 9th @ 10 a.m. at the New Beverly Cinema on Beverly Blvd. in LA,CA. and are looking forward to it selling out hopefully again!)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Located in Downtown, LA., CA.)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Listen to Dug Graves Horror-Radio Show Every Friday Night, Hon! DITA might be on this Xmas!)
This Review Dead-icated to DITA’s Friend; 'THE-DON!' Thanks again for Attending the JOAN CRAWFORD Horror Film Fest Last Month!)
You can also find Night Gallery Season #1 streaming on Amazon Prime!
Directed By; (DITA-Fave;) WILLIAM CASTLE
Starring; (DITA-Fave;) JOAN CRAWFORD, Etc.
& Tiny Cameo By; Lee Majors (‘Six Million Dollar Man’ TV Series, etc.)
From; ‘THE WILLIAM CASTLE FILM COLLECTION’ On DVD
Hi Kids, DITA DIRT NAP here.
Any-who, DITA brings you a William Castle Classic-camp Horror pic Starring one
of DITA’s Favorite ‘High-camp-One time ‘Scream-Queen’ & PEPSI-Queen; JOAN
CRAWFORD, chewing and ‘chopping-up’ the scenery in one of my favorite Cult films
entitled; ‘STRAIT JACKET’!!!
DITA loves this film which is now celebrating it’s 63rd Year Anniversary this year(1964-2019) and still holds up well enough to have the honor of being included in the ‘WILLIAM CASTLE FILM COLLECTION’ out now on DVD!!! L-o-v-e it!!
DITA has long been inspired by Joan Crawford as a role-model! Also DITA, "Mad DR.-D.' and my New Friend 'THE DON' went to the 'SOLD-OUT" JOAN CRAWFORD HORROR TRIPLE FEATURE NIGHT' at the NEW BEVERLY CINEMA, Hon on 10/28/19! Take a look at the Marquee DITA snapped a Pic of that night earlier this week, my little November Spider-Bites.
It was Camp-tastic! The Audience was fun and excitedly ready for a Fun-Night of
JOAN-Horror Flicks! Some had been partaking of the wine & spirits and some had
toked on 420 before the show! In other words it was Culty, Campy fun! The films
show this fun night earlier this week for Halloween were; 'STRAIT JACKET" Click
here to that Trailer>
https://youtu.be/9n8BnNL03GY , 'BERSERK', Click here to see that Trailer>
and her final Cult-tastic Flick entitled; 'TROG!" Click here, Dear to see that
As DITA has said before I first saw this Film on the ‘Big-Screen’ at the former ‘Spook-A-Thon’ Film Festival with a full-house audience who treated this fun fright-flick like another version of ‘Rocky-Horror’, complete w/Audience participation especially the scene where she lights a match ‘Cougar-style’ on a old-fashioned record-player to light her cigarette in a too-funny butt not meant to be awkward seduction scene attempt, that just has to be seen!!! This may wind up being a ‘Double’ or ‘Triple Feature’ when DITA gets through, my little ‘coffin-creepers’? Hmmm? So , if you’re a Big William Castle Film-Fan such as myself, then ‘STRAIT JACKET’ is a ‘Must-See’, ‘Must-Have Film, uh, as well as his new DVD Collection!!! DITA is so excited to have this Film included in the Collection. As most of you know, I have long been a ‘die-hard’ Fan of both Mr. Castle & Miss Crawford. In fact this wuz not their only Film pairing. They also did another great Horror Film together called ‘I SAW WHAT YOU DID, AND I KNOW WHO YOU ARE’, which is not included in this Collection butt DITA highly recommends renting.
To see this fun Trailer from ;'I SAW WHAT YOU DID, Click Here> https://youtu.be/6fJgN686Znw
In fact during my voo-doo zombie rebirth back in 1998, a ‘used Joan Crawford Pepsi-can, complete w/lipstick stains’ wuz thrown into the mix, as well as other ‘role-model’ artifacts . No-foolin’! Anyway, Joan may have been a ‘BITCH’ in her personal life and with some of her children ‘BUTT’………..she wuz a BITCH that could act!!! In fact take note while watching this cult-horror film, of her noticeable hedonistic-perfectionism way of how many times her face is perfectly-lit!
This movie is great fun to watch as DITA did with a big group of people or at a Party w/lots of friends! Now as most of my Fans know, DITA is stickler about having lots of cool ‘EXTRA’s’ needing to be included on every Horror disc!!! Well hon, I simply must tell you that this DVD does not disappoint! I has great fun & interesting culty-cool ‘Extra’s’! The only thing missing is the original ‘fake cardboard Axe’s’ that were given out during it’s Original Theatrical Debut back in 1964 by Mr. Castle! L-o-v-e it…………..and him!!!
DITA’s favorite ‘Extra’ on this DVD is called ‘BATTLE-AXE’; The Making Of ‘STRAIT JACKET’, witch I think is a ‘MUST-SEE’ for Fans of this film in this DVD Collection!!! In it , they make no mistake that Miss CRAWFORD wuz the ‘driving-DIVA-force’ behind the scenes! It even tells about JOAN coming up with a new Ending, on the sly, witch left the camera focusing completely on her in the ‘final-scene’! This by the way, wuz ‘NOT’ in the script!
Don’t they know DIVA’s ‘always’ find a way to get the final ‘MARTINI-SHOT’ in a film? Another ‘EXTRA’ I love to death is ‘JOAN CRAWFORD’s Wardrobe/Make-Up TESTS’ complete w/eerie music playing effectively in the background witch Also includes my favorite , ‘the AXE swinging Tests’ w/Crawford looking very convincing as an Axe-Murderess w/some apparent aggressions to work out! Too see Joan in costume and working the Axe like a pro, simply click here; https://youtu.be/WvBbfXi4twE
Fun CASTLE Trailers are included as well. In this Castle- Crowd Pleaser, CRAWFORD brings the drama and chews the Scenery like it wuz going out-of-style! ‘Kudos’ to CRAWFORD for that! She really makes this movie ‘and ‘KEEPS’ it going even today as a ‘Cult-Hit’! DITA adds that Joan has a scare-rific ‘Horror-Movie Scream’ in this flick!!!
This ‘bloody-murder scream’ can be heard in a cool ‘drea-sequence where she wakes up to a cheesy fake-head in her bed! Also DITA says ‘watch for packs of PEPSI placed strategically throughout this movie. As Joan wuz married to the President of ‘PEPSI-COLA’ at the time of filming. Ahead of her time with ‘product-placement’ wuzn’t she! Oh, that JOAN! LOL! DITA’s abs-fab’ part in the film comes when she has on ‘dangle-y jangle-y charm bracelets!!!
This a ‘DEFINITE’ ‘Things-2-Look-4’ ALERT ;
Watch for her 40’s Style wig and a cheap-looking but cool-ass floral print dress where she starts dancing mondo-strangely, drinking, chain-smoking and dangling her noisy bracelets all at the same time!!! I tell ya, it’s mesmerizing! All she needs in this scene is a couple a hoola-hoops thrown around her aging neck and she could join a 3 Ring Circus. Uh, no worries something similar comes up in another one of her Horror Films that DITA Reviewed eon’s ago here in the ‘DEN’ called ‘BERSERK’ with the beautiful British answer to Marilyn Monroe; Miss DIANA DORS( ‘ROOM 43’,etc.)!
DITA swears in this ‘A.D.D’ over-stimulation Scene she could easily imagine JOAN doing this while dancing, drinking, smoking, dangling thing; coming off like some psychotic, popcorn/peanut selling ‘wacked-out, cracked-out stewardess from hell’ yelling……………………’Get your peanuts……get your popcorn…….cigars, cigarettes……..coffee, tea or me! JOAN wuz obviously a ‘MULTI-TASKER’, kids! Sorry, went off on a ‘fantasy-rant’! Tee-hee!!!
A-n-y way, the Story-line goes, the she/Joan/ Lucy once chopped off the heads of her Husband and his slutty Mistress 20 years ago and had been in a ‘Looney-Bin’ for quite some time before coming back to stay with her daughter upon her release. Now her daughter had witnessed this beheading scene as a child………of course!
As JOAN/Lucy struggles to readjust to society ……..witch includes getting drunk and coming on to her daughters boyfriend…….in front of her, no less! All the while, ‘SOMEONE’ has taken to chopping of heads again……….??? Hmmmm??? Is it JOAN??? No, it’s……it’s………….??? Uh, ‘WATCH’ the movie to find out Dear!
As you know DITA never likes to tell the whole Story, ‘butt’ I will say that there ‘IS’ a ‘surprise-ending’ that keeps this movie fun………and more importantly; FRESH!!! What else wood you expect from the ‘Master Of Shlock’, Mr. William Castle? A great, long-awaited Documentary…….witch is included in this Collection, SILLY!
So get to clicking on the ‘DVD-Icon’ next to Dear old-er DITA’s Review and get your cool-ass campy Copy of this much coveted Collection of; ’THE WILLIAM CASTLE FILM COLLECTION’ 2-Nite!!!
DITA will be Reviewing More Films from this campy Collection in the very near future! Some of the other Films included in this Castle Collection are;
’13 FRIGHTENED GIRLS’
‘SPINE-TINGLER’; ‘THE WILLIAM CASTLE STORY’( Love it, coming soon to ‘Dita’s-Den’!)
‘THE OLD DARK HOUSE’
Although, ‘STRAIT JACKET’ remains one of DITA’s favorite William Castle Fright Flicks! DITA gives this horrifically-campy fright-flick 3 SKULLS Out Of A 3 SKULLS Score!!!
Also Click here to see a great campy ‘Mash-Up’ with Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford as the new Head of Pepsi-Cola warning the ‘boys-club’/suits’ to ‘F--- with her, fellas! A ‘Must-See’ says DITA; it’s called; ‘PEPSI-COLA VISION MIX’; https://youtu.be/HgKIqSwej-E
So until Next Week,
DITA (Disturbia) DIRT NAP
(Too see this cool Music Video entitled; ‘STRAIT JACKET DISTURBIA’, Just Click here; https://youtu.be/Zg4fWn6OMyE)
Scare-Mail Appreciated at;
Also check out these usual sites as follows;
www.imdb.com ( Type in Joan Crawford for her other works of horror that were once Reviewed all by DITA long ago as a Tribute to Miss Crawford.)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (This my friend DUG GRAVES Radio Horror Show which airs every Friday night! DITA is trying to arrange to be on for Xmas-2019,Hon!)
This Review Dead-icated to DITA’s other past Side-kick; ‘HELL-FIRA’ aka Francie Yarboro-Knotts , who saved this original old Review and lots more DITA-Antiques and sent them to 'LADY-DIRT NAP' by ‘snail-mail’. Thank you ever so very much from the bottom of my little black heart!!! You’re the Best!!! If you ever want to Host a Movie on my Show; 'Horror/Cult Drive-In', just contact me by e-mail at; firstname.lastname@example.org
Hugs & Kisses 2 U & your Wonderful Mother!!!
© D. Dyszel 2019
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor