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'RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD'
20th Century Fox/MGM
Produced By; Tom Fox
Directed By; DAN O' BANNON
Starring; Clu Gulager, Linnea Quigley (Dita-Fave!), etc.
Welcome Back to 'DITA's DEN', My Little Spider-Bites, I, DITA DIRT NAP thought she would bring you 'one' of my Favorite Zombie Horror-Comedy Films for Review this weekend of; 'RETURN OF THE LIVING! Perfect Title, thinks DITA. Now, to get started, here is the cool, culty Trailer for 'RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD', just click here, hon; www.youtube.com/watch?v=wylpeAXYcBQ
Don't cha' just love it!!! Oh how DITA loves a good 'Zombie-Flick'! People forget, I am half-zombie myself, you know. That's how I wuz brought back to life the first time as 'Roxanne-Red-light', then transformed into a half-skeleton, half-zombie, by My Producers; Darell & Sherri, as they used the 'VOO-DOO 4 DUMMIES' Handbook along with MADONNA's Book, entitled; 'SEX', with the lead character being named; DITA. Oh, and sum lightning that struck the Book & my headstone and CAMPIRA's, so I'd have a 'side-kick'. Just a little trivia for you, about why I'm associated w/Madonna so much and a Zombie! Love her!!!
Now on to one of DITA & Renfield's favorite Zombie-Flick; 'RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD!'
This film starts out with some bored teens going to pick up
their friend from work at a creepy crematorium. While waiting for him to get off
work, those hoodlums break into a nearby Cemetery. Hmmmmmmm?
Meanwhile, inside the Crematorium, their teenage friend, a new employee there, Has gotten into a little shall I say, mis-hap, with a Zombie that wuz sealed in a supposedly fool-proof canister, in the creepy lab-type basement. Of course that is where the ‘zombiefied –fun’ begins. The teen and his ‘in-shock’ Boss then try to get help to dispose of the Zombie Body, after they have a comical scene where they try to chase it down with a bat, then they chop it’s head off, uh, while it’s naked, the one upstairs anyway. After chopping it into little pieces they bring it to the Crematorium Guy/Specialist and tell him it’s rabies infested animals. LOL Long-story short, they cremate the zombie parts, after the zombie-arm grabs the Mortuary Guy’s leg.
Hmmm, guess I’d better get rid of that severed leg we have in our living-room, As a conversation-piece, uh, just in case. LOL!
When they cremate the zombie, the smoke from the chimney mixes
with a thunderstorm and becomes ‘acid-zombie-rain’, no foolin!
This begins to rain down all over town, especially the graveyard, with the teenage-vandals, still there. As u wood guess by now, the rain seeps into the graves, making instant zombies, hungry for ‘B-R-A-I-N-S’!!! Yikes!!! This is where the fun & mayhem begin kiddies. DITA must also mention the 8o’s Soundtrack from this ‘horror-comedy’ is cheesy but big 80’s fun, just like DITA likes. Any-way, most of you have seen this excellent fright-flick a million times, so I’ll skip right to the ultra-cool ; ‘EXTRAS’ included on this wonderful ‘must-have’COLLECTER’S EDITION’ DVD, which are as follows;
*Audio Commentary w/Cast & Crew and ‘UNDEAD’!!! ( DITA like-y!!! A must hear, if I do say so myself!)
* Audio Commentary w/Director; DAN O’BANNON and Production Designer; William Stout. ‘The Decade Of Darkness’ Featurette (Must –see Extra!!!)
* ‘RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD- ‘The Dead Have Risen’ Featurette. (Please watch!!! Love it!!!)
* Zombie Subtitles for the Film. (Silly but fun!!!)
* ‘Designing The Dead’- Featurette. ( Excellent, why & how about the Zombies in the Film.!!!)
* 2 Trailers for the Film; ’RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD’.!!! ( Both are very cool!!!
* Also included; Trailers for 2 of DITA’s favorite modern horror flicks; ‘JEEPERS CREEPERS 1 & ‘JEEPER CREEPERS 2’ and PART 3! Part 4 is allegedly coming out in 2019, Hon! Also MGM Horror Film Trailers that to many 2 mention but ‘AMITYVILLE HORROR (The Original.) & The first ‘CHILD’S PLAY’ Movie are included. ( U gotta luv that!!!)
As for the rest of the film; zombies are chased, shot, burned,
maimed and more heinous, morbid fun. You know, the usual, in a Zombie Film, but
these Zombies don’t die when u shoot them in the brain, my little demented,
Spider-Bites, oh no, u have to burn them completely, cuz as the say in the film,
which they mention briefly, ‘Night Of The Living Dead’, in that film, they lied.
W-h-a-t??? Really? Any-who, to outline the best & funniest parts in this great
horror-comedy zombie flick, here are my ;
‘DITA’s THINGS-2-LOOK-4-LIST; as follows;
+ Scene with main Zombie chasing girl # 1 up the stairs, she then falls thru the stairs, then locks herself in a closet while the Zombie tries to ‘pull’ her out!
+ Scene w/Zombie calling on ‘c.b’ telling them to send more brains/ambulance drivers, police, etc. ( W-h-a-t? We get hungry!)
+ Dita’s favorite Scene; where they capture half a lady-zombie that they strap down to a gurney and proceed to ask her, while her rotted boobs are exposed, why the eat brains? The answer; ‘To stop the pain’…….of death, silly!!!
+ Linnea Quigley’s most famous scene where she does a dance ‘strip-tease’ in the grave-yard , that ends up ‘full-frontal’! No kidding, and u thought the ‘Busch’-Era wuz over! LOL
Too see this scene and many more that are way-too many too mention without giving away the ending, just get to clicking on the ‘DVD-Icon’ next to dear old’ DITA’s Review of; ‘RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD’. Tonight, to get your very own ‘Collector’s Edition DVD Copy’ for your Zombie-Film Collection.
‘Special Thanks to ‘RENFIELD’ for lending DITA this Copy to Review here in ‘DITA’s DEN’!!! DITA wood tell u more about what happens at the end of the film, but don’t want to give it away, butt I will say it involves a very cool ending that leads to the hexcellent ‘RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD; Part 2!
DITA DIRT NAP gives this excellent zombie-romp of a film a perfect 3 SKULLS Out Of 3 SKULLS Score!!!
‘A REAL SCREAM FOR CHILLER FANS’ says ‘THE WASHINGTON POST!!!’ Also ‘Happy 'AUTUMNAL-EQUINOX' (9/22/18) ,Hon.' That means 'HALLOWEEN' is just around the corner, my little 'jacked-up' jack-o-lanterns! LOL! DITA can't wait!
Until next week,
‘Chainsaw-Kisses’ to you and yours,
DITA ('LIVING DEAD GIRL') DIRT NAP
(Click here kids to see that exact Video from ROB ZOMBIE, called; 'Living Dead Girl' > https://youtu.be/BvsMPOfblfg )
Also check out this DITA’-Fave sites as follows;
www.shoutfactory.com (DITA Highly suggests this one for DVD'S!)
www.thenewbev.com (Theater RE-OPENING here in L.A. in December-2018! Can't wait!)
www.radiohalloween.com Halloween Radio | Halloween Music & Stories
www.cinespia.org (Grave yard Movie Schedule found here for ;Hollywood Forever Cemetery. DITA old stomping ground.)
www.electricduskdrivein.com (Located in Downtown L.A., CA. DITA HIGHLY Suggests, Hon! Will be there in Oct.)
www.facebook.com/DJDugGrave s (Tune in every Friday Night to hear DUG GRAVES RADIO HORROR SHOW, that's a real scream!)
can also stream this film on Amazon...Here!
'ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN'
Starring; Allison Hayes & YVETTE VICKERS.
Tonight's Sci-fi Cult Classic. 'ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN' is a wonderful slice of American-Cult at it's Campy Best!!! Yes another YVETTE VICKERS-Flick this week, Hon!
It's an entertaining Story about a Wealthy, but unhappy woman played well by Actress; ALLISON HAYES as Nancy Archer, who has taken back her Husband after throwing him out for cheating w/the Town's Jezebel played brilliantly to the Hilt by our Miss YVETTE VICKERS! Click here to see the Trailer of; ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT WOMAN', Click here> https://youtu.be/RYRWvMaFJjE
Any-who, Yvette Vickers play the 'other-woman' but
attractive, called; 'HONEY PARKER' very well, I might add and Ooozes Sexy
Bad-Girl-ness in every frame! Especially in the 'dancing-in-the-bar' scene witch
is not to be missed. You see, Nancy is seen fighting w/her 'have-no-empathy'
Husband and drives off like a 'bat-out-of-hell' in her cool late 50's Car on a
deserted road until she sees a Glowing UFO-Ball-thingy setting down in the road
in front of her. She stops, gets hysterical and starts to get out of the cool
car and, and a.........................giant paper-Mache hand claws at her
big-ass expensive Necklace. BTW, who wears such expensive jewelry UFO-watching
in the dessert on a lonely stretch of highway, anyway??? She does manage to run
away, back into town to dramatically tell police and local towns people that she
saw a big Satellite and a Giant from Outer space. But they just thinks she's
Meanwhile, just inside the Tavern where Nancy has just had her hysterics, Honey Parker is working her 'love-jones' on poor Nancy's cheating Husband. They kiss and kanoodle until the Deputy comes looking for him to let him know his Wife is nearby and possibly drunk. The Shifty-cheating Husband gives the Deputy a 20 dollar bill to tell the Sherriff he left the Bar already so he can get his groove on w/Honey. Speaking of Fun B-Movie, DITA wants you to Check out this Ultra-Campy Col Movie-Poster from; 'A.O.T.F.F.W.', which you can own for yourself 2-NITE by Clicking on the 'POSTER-Icon' to the Left. Beautiful, isn't it, great for decorating your own Den or 'Torture-Room' says DITA!
Also this Film can be Found & Read about in DITA's Forever-Favorite Book called; 'CULT FLICKS AND TRASH PICS' on Page; 22 and is Still Available from Amazon.com by Clicking to your Left on that exact 'Book-Icon' here in the DEN.
After her humiliation in town, Nancy goes home and just can't rest until she proves to everyone including her Butler that this Giant-Alien exists and she has not been a delusional-unhappy drunk. So she high-tails it back out to the dessert but w/unfaithful Hubby in tow. Well, honey, they eventually find him. Silly Nancy runs right up to the UFO and touches it. Bad move, Nanc! The Giant comes out, some how thru a very tiny Door and grabs Nancy and takes her inside the space ship. Where's her Hubby, you may ask? Driving off like he's just entered the 'INDY-500', that where, silly! If it's the end of the world tonight, then I'm Roger Corman's; 'LAST WOMAN ON EARTH!' Kick-stand, anyone??? LMOL!
So long Story short, she is found later back at home on the pool-house roof and begins to be attended to by a Shrink and his Nurse, who by the way, is a hell of a Screamer, witnessed later in the film. Poor, poor Nancy begins to grow to great lengths in her little bedroom from radiation from the Spaceman's touch. Pretty soon all everyone sees when they walk in the room is her big, chained up, paper-Mache' arm. Hmmm? DITA wonders what the Paper Mache' Budget wuz on this Film?
Meanwhile, Bad, scummy cheating Hubby makes as much time as he can with Yvette/Honey at her shabby Motel room and scheme up plans to make his now Big-Ass Wife, uh, 50 Feet Tall, to be exact, die from to many milligrams of the Meds her Doc keeps shooting her up with every time she has a foul-mood which in turn causes Mini-House Quakes at their Mansion in Calabasas. Honey's idea, of course!
Well before they can do that, Nancy comes completely too and is fearfully wide-awake and in a very bad mood again, imagine her temper when she sees her tooth paste bill alone, never mind the one for toilet-paper. What? I said; never mind that one! Meanwhile again her unfaithful Husband played devilishly well by Actor; William Hudson goes back into town at the bar to do more Canoodling, heavy-petting and dancing w/Honey. BTW, again, watch how even though it's a B-Movie Production, what a great Actress Yvette Vickers is. I'm just sayin'.......to notice!
So Big-Nanc, finally manages to literally raise-the-roof off her place, al the while shouting her cheating Hubby's name again & again; 'H-A-R-R-Y, H-A-R-R-Y!!! Very effective, thinks DITA. She then high tails it into town dressed in a bed-sheet bra and matching pre-mini skirt before they even came into fashion in the next decade-the swinging 60's. An Amazon-Woman ahead of her time, my little Blood-Bags! She gets to town and scares the 'be-jezzus' outta everyone in sight and then tears the Motel-sign off the side of the Building which in comparison to her new 50 Foot height , uh, without heels, looks like a dollhouse.
She intuitively knows which room the Harlot-Honey Parker is and peeks her giant-peeper in that window, the breaks it out and rummages her 'jie-normus' hand in and shoves her skanky-little bed to the side. Honey/Yvette's not there cuz she's cuddling-up again in the bar below the Motel w/Miss 50 Foot's philandering Husband at a nearby booth for two, with a candle even. BIG-NANCY then starts to tear the fricking roof off the bar and immediately spots Honey w/her hubby, um , oops, DITA means H-A-R-R-Y, as she still keeps bellowing his name. She takes a beam of the bar-roof and smashes it right on 'so and so' hiding underneath the table and they immediately ...................................................??? W-h-a-t? You all certainly know by now, DITA usually doesn't like to tell the whole Story, so I'll just skip right to the 'EXTRA's included on this Disc, witch are as follows;
+ Original Trailer Unrated (So it says on the Back of my DVD,
butt DITA couldn't find it anywhere. Hmmm? Arrgh!!!)
+ Subtitles in; English French. (Que', no espanol? Por Que'?)
+ Commentary By YVETTE ('Honey') VICKERS & 'Film Historian; TOM WEAVER! (DITA likes this Feature the Very-Best and Highly recommends Listening to the Whole Commentary to learn fun & very interesting and Entertaining Facts and great Stories told by YVETTE , herself!!! DITA-Like-y!!!)
Also to own your very own Classic-Culty Camp Copy of this very
entertaining thru-out Film with the late YVETTE VICKERS and more, simply Click
on the 'DVD-Icon' next to Dear old' DITA's Review! DITA loved the entertaining
Storyline, Cast, and even good Low-Budget Filming of this Flick and Only wishes
someone like 'LEGEND FILMS' would do a cool digital adherence of 3-D for Viewing
on those upcoming 3-D Televisions DITA & 'B.J.' & our offspring; 'PAMELA-SCREAM'
is forever trying out at our Local 'BEST-DIE' Store for Electronics every other
weekend in their Showroom!!!
I, DITA DIRT NAP, loved this Film which includes the Lovely & Talented; YVETTE VICKERS and gives it a perfect high Score of 3 SKULLS Out Of 3!!! Watch it this weekend w/your Special-Some thing, unless we actually have that unformatted Rapture, kids!
Until Next Week
'CHAINSAW-KISSES' til then,
DITA ('RAPTURE') DIRT NAP
(Click here to see that exact 'End-Of-The-World' Big-80's Music Video W/Debbie Harry Rapping from 'Super Group'; 'BLONDIE' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHCdS7O248g )
Contact Me at; DDN1965@live.com
As usual Check Out these DITA-Suggested Sites as follows;
www.briansdriveintheater.com/yvettevickers.html Yvette Vickers at Brian's Drive-In Theater
www.scarymonstersmagazine.com Monster Seasonal Items and Gadgets
www.thenewbev.com (Los Angeles, CA.)
www.shoutfactory.com (Excellent DVD Choices!)
www.cinespia.org ('Hollywood Forever Cemetery' Outdoor Movie Season Listings in LA, CA.)
www.vinelanddriveintheater.com (Los Angeles, CA.)
www.shockcinemamagazine.com Shock Cinema Magazine is an essential periodical for fans of cutting-edge, retro cinema. Each issue features in-depth interviews with the most intriguing character actors, cult celebrities and maverick moviemakers of all time and critiques a wide array of film obscurities, including grindhouse action, sexploitation, horror, sci-fi, drive-in favorites, kitsch gems, overseas oddities.
www.ew.com (Entertainment Weekly) Entertainment Weekly: TV Recaps, Movie & Music News
www.imdb.com (Type in; YVETTE VICKERS to see her entire amazingingly-interesting 'body-of-work!")
www.facebook.com/DJDugGraves (Listen to his Horror-Radio Show every Friday night, Hon!)
'THIS REVIEW FROM; DITA, DEDICATED TO THE LATE, GREAT; YVETTE VICKERS'-R.I.P.'
You can also stream this movie on Amazon Here!
© D. Dyszel 2017
Dick Dyszel - Voice Actor