'ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY'
From; Universal Studios-'COMEDY LEGENDS' Collection
'A UNIVERSAL INTERNATIONAL PICTURES Production
Directed By; Charles Lamont
Produced By; Howard Christie
Starring; BUD ABBOTT & LOU COSTELLO,
Marie Windsor (Stanley Kubrick's-'The Killing', Roger Corman's-'Swamp Women',
'Cat Women On The Moon' & 1977's 'Freaky Friday' w/Jodie Foster),
Michael Ansara ('It's Alive', 'Harem-Scarum' w/Elvis Presley), Peggy King; Singer-('The George Gobel Show')
Richard Deacon ('Dick Van Dyke Show' as Mel Cooley.) and 'Stunt-Man' Ed Parker as the 'Mummy'.
'F.Y.I.'- Carole Costello, Lou's daughter as; The Cigarette-Girl. Make-Up By; The Legendary BUD WESTMORE.
Running Time; I Hour, 20 Minutes,1955 DVD
Hi Kids,
I'm back...........and this time in my MUMMY's ARMS! Yes, it's me! That walking, talking, Undead, 'Horror/Cult'- Comedy and now 'Horror/Cult Radio-Starlet' herself, DITA DIRT NAP! A special thanks from 'RENFIELD & I, to Terry & Tiffany Dufoe @ 'CULT RADIO-A-GO-GO for having us on their fun & frightfully-wonderful '50th Episode-Show!!! More things from 'DITA'&
'The Horror Host Radio Network' to come, my little 'Spider Bites'! Stay Tuned and please don't forget to listen to their Show every Saturday Night for more 'Horror-Host' fun and their '50th- Episode' w/DITA, RENFIELD, APRIL; Winner from 'SEARCH FOR THE NEXT ELVIRA', 'MALICE'-Winner of 'MISS AFTER DARK-HORROR FEST' & Horror Host; 'KARLOS BORLOFF' @ www.cultradioagogo.com !
This time I bring you the 'Horror-Comedy'-Spoof as promised entitled; 'ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY'!!! Also as an added Bonus a 'Mini-Review' of the 'Book-Companion' from Author; Jeffrey S. Miller, 'The HORROR SPOOFS of ABBOTT and COSTELLO'. Mr. Miller will also be on DITA's 'LOST-PILOT' 'Halloween-Episode' this coming October being Interviewed by my Producer & Agent, Darell Erazo, for 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' airing on 'W.H.P.A.', as well as 'YOU-TUBE' and 'MY-SPACE' TV, radio and eventually DVD.
What can I say? I'll be a busy, 'Ghoul-Gal' come this October!!! Hmmm? Sounds like a spoof-show title of Pamela Anderson's show now on 'E!' Hmmm, DITA; 'GHOUL ON THE LOOSE'! Love your Show by the way, Pam! It's a 'Scream!' Love it! Check it out Sundays @10 p.m. only on 'E!' (www.Eonline.com) Loved u as 'Stripperella' too! Also a big 'HOW YOU DOIN'?' to 'Fox 'TV-Talk Show Host & Radio-Gal; WENDY (Have Cleavage & Wigs, Will Travel!) WILLIAMS!!! Love your New 'Pop-Culture/Gossip' Show too!!! 'Kudos, WENDY!!! 'WHEN' you get picked up, Please have 'ELVIRA' on your 'Halloween' show! 'Derek;' The Vamperic-Announcer' interrupts; DITA, is this a 'Shout-Out' Column or a 'Horror-Review/Column'? DITA responds; Oooops, sorry, back to my Review, hon.
The Trailer for 'A. & C. Meet The Mummy' was introduced on 'Cult Radio A-Go-Go' week before last by yours Cruelly as well as 'Hammer's 'The Mummy' Trailer! Love it!!! Any-who the Trailer for A. & C Meets The Mummy' shouts; 'OUT OF THE DEPTHS OF AN ANCIENT TOMB'; ECHOES A SOUND THAT SHAKES THE WORLD............WITH LAUGHTER! 'BUD ABBOTT and LOU COSTELLO' MEET THE MUMMY'! 'IT'S BANG UP, ROOF-RAISING...FRENZIED FUN!'
Thus starts this 'horror-comedy' romp thru the tombs of ancient Egypt with, as you all know, one of DITA's Favorite Comedy Teams!
The film starts out with Bud & Lou at a Night Club in Cairo called the 'BAGHDAD CAFE' , where while watching a stage show, they over hear Archaeologist Dr. Zoomer say he needs 2 men to bring the Mummy; Klaris from Egypt to America. After some quick 'slapstick' at the club they head over to the Dr.'s Office to offer their services. However they find the good Dr. has been freshly murdered and after some 'comedy-hi-jinks' with a disappearing 'body-of-evidence' (obscure Madonna Movie Reference) &
some 'mummy-hide-n-seek', our 'boys' find a sacred-medallion that the evil 'Madame-Rontru' (played brilliantly by Marie Windsor!) and her 'hench-men' desperately want to get their hands on. Why, you may ask? To decipher the message about where to find the 'mummy-treasure', silly!'
Before Madame Rontru and her thugs can buy it from our boys, Costello accidentally eats it. This happens after a game of
'ancient-medallion/curse' 'switch-a-roo' with their 'burgers', of all things! No foolin! Madame 'Evil-Gal' & Company catches Lou and hysterically 'X-Rays' him to see if he really has it. One the second 'X-ray' the necklace spells 'H-E-L-P!' in his stomach.
Then after trying to shake him up, Lou is catapulted into the ceiling! Later when having a run-in with Klaris, the 'mummy' gives Lou the 'Heimlich maneuver' and out pops the 'cursed-medallion' into the 'mummy's hand, Now as usual, to try and make a long story shorter, here is DITA's 'Things To Look For' List;
*Scene with 'Costello' running into a bat, a giant-lizard and a skeleton with 'hand-cuffs', which causes much, much hilarity as you can only imagine.
* Scene with Costello trying hard to bury the 'mummy' and one of the 'hoodlums' disguised as the mummy in the sand by bopping them on the 'noggin' much like a manic game a 'whack-a-mole'! Too funny!
* Scene with 3 Mummy's, one real and 2 fake being shot at by Madame Rontru. When she runs out of bullets, she throws the gun at the real Mummy. Why??? He then grabs her and she tries to set him on fire with a torch. Then dynamite is thrown back and fourth between the mummy, Klaris and the cast! Good stuff! Guess who catches it??? I'll never tell!!!
* Scene where Vocalist PEGGY KING, wearing a 'glam-gown' sings a cool, snappy ditty about DITA's 'home-town' called 'YOU CAME A LONG WAY FROM ST. LOUIE!' Love it, down-loaded it!!! Shouldn't you?
* Scene where Klaris-worshippers 'Egyptian-dance troop' perform native-ritual dance! Very cool but DITA says watch for the
'over-enthusiastic' only male dancer, and his 'oh-so-over-dramatic' dance moves! I almost wet myself!!! Love it!!!
* Any scene with Lou unintentionally 'snake-charming' w/hilarious results right up till the end of the picture!
Lot's of 'slap-stick, which you know dear old' DITA just loves between this comedy-duo in this 'mummy-mystery/horror-spoof' flick as well as secret-passages and great chase scenes and even a 'comedy-nod' to the infamous who's on first' routine in this one folks! Ya gotta love it! Sadly, this was 'A. & C.''s last 'horror-spoof' in the series, although it's surprise success garnered enough attention for another 'horror-comedy' Outing wanted by the studio. The boys felt that had enough with the Studio Heads. They did however use horror-bits in their wonderful TV Specials and their own TV Series 'THE ABBOTT AND COSTELLO SHOW'! One bit used in the 'Colgate-Comedy Hour' introduced 'our boys' to one of DITA's favorite Monster-Crushes. It was 'Abbott & Costello Meet The Creature From The Black Lagoon'!!! DITA loves this one and will finally Host it and air it at long last on my
show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' this 'Fall/Winter Season and it could end up some where else as well. Shhhh! More on that later during the 'Autumnal-Equinox', my little 'coffin-creepers'!!! Now as you know DITA won't tell the ending to this 'fun-flick', but I
will say it involves a 'bang' and an 'Tomb-themed' eatery/club engagement for Miss King again. Hmmmmmm?
DITA loved this flick and encourages you and yours to see it for yourself by clicking on the DVD Icon next this ghoul's Review! Mizz Dirt Nap gives it a '3 Skulls Out Of 3 Skulls' even though the energy of it's 'comedy-team' was as to be expected , a tad low. Extras on this disc included are; Way-vintage-cool 'Theatrical Trailer, Production Notes, and Cast and Film makers. Nice touch! A fun movie to watch on a stormy night, curled up on the couch with 'YOUR' favorite Munster, tonight!
Now for quick 'mini-review' of one of DITA's FAVORITE Books that I also promoted on 'CULT RADIO-A-GO-GO' recently.
It's tentatively titled,' The HORROR SPOOFS Of ABBOTT and COSTELLO'; A Critical Assessment of the Comedy Team's Monster Films. By a very thorough Author; MR. JEFFREY S. MILLER. DITA highly urges you to get this book, if your as big a FAN of 'Abbott & Costello' as I am! For Fans of their 'Monster-Films' it is a 'MUST-HAVE'!!! Mr. Miller provides all the fine details of each 'Monster-Meets' Movies' as well as their other 'Horror-Comedies' such as DITA's favorite 'HOLD THAT GHOST' and 'THE TIME OF THEIR LIVES' & 'ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET THE KILLER, BORIS KARLOFF'! 'WOW!'
Oh, before I forget, the info on 'Meet The Mummy' in the book begins on Page;114. Mr. Miller loves talking with and meeting Abbott & Costello' Fans and have given Mizz Dirt Nap permission to list his e-mail address here in in my 'Horror/Column' if you'd like to contact him about his wonderful-horrific Book or just to chat about his love of 'Abbott And Costello' Films as well as his vast knowledge of Films past & present, and of course Horror. He manages DITA's Favorite Video Store of 'hard-to-find-films' here in L.A. called 'ROCKET VIDEO' and has upcoming projects and has written Articles for FILMFAX, TELEVISION CHRONICLES and MIDNIGHT MARQUEE and over 100 Documentaries on Film History for Passport Productions!
Contact him at;
rocket-video@yahoo.com
Thanks for writing a Book like this for the FANS!!! DITA looks forward to the upcoming Interview on my Show. So...........for all you Fans of 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO's 'Monster Meets' Flicks just click on 'The HORROR SPOOFS Of ABBOTT and COSTELLO' Book Icon next to my Review and order yours tonight! Mr. Miller even Autographed my Copy;
T0; 'DITA DIRT NAP',
Always a pleasure to meet a fellow Fan.
Best Always,
JEFFREY S. MILLER
Very cool!!!
Also a belated 'HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY' to my 'pop-culture-counter-part' and 'Bio' inspiration MADONNA, who was born 50 years ago on August 16th! 'Looking good 'Maddie'! Check out her 'Give It 2 Me' music video on 'you-tube' and her new Sticky & Sweet' Tour and song selections from her 'HARD CANDY' CD @ www.madonna.com
Also look for DITA DIRT NAP's music video 'spoof' short of MADONNA's 'Justify My Love' taken from my 'Lost-Episode' of Mizz Dirt Nap's Hosting of the 'cult-film'; 'The Wild, Wild World Of Jayne Mansfield' coming in September to 'YOU-TUBE'! Hello to my buddy in 'Cult-Horror' 'RENFIELD' over in the 'POWER ROOM' !
Until Next Week, 'Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA ('I Want My Mummy') DIRT NAP
Please check out the following sites;
www.cultradioagogo.com , www.legendfilms.com , www.scarymonstersmag.com , www.madonna.com , Scare-mail appreciated at; DearDITA@webtv.net
DitaDirtNap.net
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'THE MUMMY'
A 'HAMMER' FILMS Production
Starring; Christopher Lee as ;The Mummy,
Peter Cushing and Yvonne Furneaux, etc.
Directed By; Terence Fisher
Produced By; Michael Carreras
DVD 1959
Greetings, my little 'Tomb Raiders'!
Yes, it's me again, your favorite Horror/Cult Cyber Ghoul-Gal & about to be 'Horror-Radio Starlet' as of tonight (8/2/08), DITA DIRT NAP!!! Before I introduce tonight's Review, I want to tell all my 'FANS' that I will be 'Guest-Hosting' along with my 'good-friend-in-horror' 'RENFIELD' tonight (Saturday) on the Internet Radio Station, 'C.R.A.G.G.' 'CULT RADIO A-GO-GO' on the 'Horror Host Radio Network' @ www.cultradioagogo.com ,thanks to Terry & Tiffany Dufoe, for their wonderful invitation!!! I am thrilled and would appreciate as many listeners as possible. So please tune in tonight for a 'frightful-good time'!!!
As some of you may know DITA was on 'Internet-Radio' once before on 'ComedyWorld.com' way back in 2000'! So listen in for some 'Horror-fun' and surprises!
Now on to this weekend's Review of a classic 'HAMMER' Film from 1959 'THE MUMMY' Starring; 'Horror Icon's' CHRISTOPHER LEE as the Mummy & PETER CUSHING as Archaeologist, John Banning. Also Actress; Yvonne Furneaux as Princess Ananka & Isabel Banning. DITA chose this film to coincide with the Opening of 'Universal's 'THE MUMMY;3' 'TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR', which opened in theaters last night (8/1/08) and Stars; Brenden Frasier & Jet Li! DITA highly suggests going to see it! 'B.J.' and I went to see it last night with an opening night crowd and loved it! I snuck our pet rat, 'Mansfield' in my 'HAND'-bag. Shhh!
Lot's of 'action', adventure and horrificaly cool Asian culturalism! 'B.J.' & DITA loved the Asian inspired storyline cuz we both love 'Asian-Horror Films'! We thought JET LI was amazing as the evil Mummy (one of DITA's fantasy crushes, you know.) and 'Brenden Frasier' was excellent again in his role and has never looked better or more fit! Yum!!! It starts out a little slow but picks up the pace and keeps it til' the very end and hints at a Part 4! Oooh, I hope so!!! Please check it out this weekend!
'Derek; The Vampiric Announcer' interrupts' 'Are you here to Review a 'Hammer Film' or 'BLATHER' on about the new 'Mummy 3'? Please, keep your focus DITA! DITA replies; 'Right you are oh 'Fanged-One'.
As most of you know 'Hammer Studios was part of 'Universal; International. The DVD Cover reads 'NERVE-SHATTERING SHOCK!' and...........'TORN FROM THE TOMB TO TERRIFY!' DITA just loves tag-lines! By the way, a special shout to my 'Mummy'; Della-Mae Dirt Nap in St. Louis, Mo. Hi Mom! Any-who this British Monster Flick starts out with 'Banning Sr.' as an Archaeologist and his team finding the undisturbed tomb of Princess Ananka and entering it's sacred ground. John's father reads the 'sacred scroll of life' out loud which brings back to life the guardian of her Tomb who was also the Princess's secret Lover/High-Priest who is cursed to kill intruders but is then stopped from killing John's Dad by an Egyptian 'Religious-Zealot' who steal's the scroll himself to later control the mummy.
Banning Sr. goes 'nutty' after that encounter and is put in a 'Nut House' for Seniors. Until later when the mummy is transported to the 'Nut House' area by the afore mentioned 'Egyptian/Zealot' -Man and his coffin falls off the wagon into the 'creepy/muddy moors'. There in the moors he is brought back to life .............again (with cool, effective green back-lit scenes) by 'Zealot Guy' by reading the stolen scrolls of life'. He the keeps the Mummy at his rented house and orders him to kill one at a time, all those involved with desecrating the Princess's Tomb. Hmmmmmm, this guy must have 'Control Issue's'! Tee-hee!
Any way, first the Mummy goes after the old man (Sr.) and rips open the old man's rubber room window and bars and chokes his 'old-ass' out! By the way, in this scene Christopher Lee looks great fresh from the swamp and covered in mud from 'head to toe' and does a great 'jerky-undead-walk' up to the 'nut-house'! LOVE him!!! He's even 'evil-sexy' in bandages! Be still my little black heart. The Mummy is later sent after the son at his home but his wife Isabel runs into the room with her long hair down and yells
stop to the Mummy. The Mummy thinks John's wife looks just like his ex, the Princess, and stops and slowly walks out the 'double-doors' he just busted out, and back to his room-mate 'Zealot-guy'.
Let Mizz DIRT NAP just say that Mr. Lee makes one tall-ass Mummy, ah, with very big feet!!! Hmmmmm? You know what they say. Mr. Lee is great as the Mummy and has very 'menacing-eyes'. He also looks cool breaking through windows, glass, lots of 'double-doors' and 'choking' people out, getting shot at, and even getting an arrow shot thru his bandaged corpse (Check out his pic on the DVD cover with flash light shining thru his hole.)! Love it, love it, love it! He tries of course a second time to kill 'Banning Jr'. but is side-tracked again by Mrs. Banning who faints. The Mummy then takes her in his arms and walks off w/her just like Rhett Butler w/Scarlett O'Hara, but instead of 'TERRA' he takes her to the swamp with the others in 'hot-pursuit'.
How romantic! I wonder how come 'B.J.' never takes me to the swamp? Mud is good for your complexion, or in my
case, lack of, you know.
As usual, DITA won't tell the ending of this 'Monster-mash' so you can see it for yourself by clicking on the DVD cover box 'icon'
next to dear old' DITA's Review. I will say that someone takes a 'mud-bath' and it's not me! LOL Before I forget, here are the too few extras, in my humble opinion, included on this disc, witch are as follows;
* Theatrical Trailer ( Love it, very cool! You know DITA loves it when these are included and thinks they 'SHOULD' be mandatory. In fact, if you tune in tonight to hear me on 'Cult Radio A-Go-Go', DITA will try and Host this clip (audio-ly) as
well as next week's Review trailer clip from 'Abbott & Costello Meet The Mummy'. 'How do ya like them apples???' )
* CAST & CREW Info
*Subtitles & Languages In ; English & French
This film was the third in 'Hammer's' Classic Screen Monsters after 'THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN' and 'HORROR OF DRACULA' which the later was Reviewed by yours Cruel-ly here in the 'DEN'! DITA also Reviewed many moons ago another 'Hammer' Mummy Flick entitled 'THE MUMMY'S SHROUD'. Check that one out along with 'THE WRESTLING WOMEN VS. THE AZTEC MUMMY' and Universal's Original 'THE MUMMY' with the amazing Boris Karloff, all available @ www.amazon.com Tell em' DITA sent cha!!!
By the way, 'The Wrestling Women VS. The Aztec Mummy' will be shown on my show this upcoming 'Fall/Winter' Season only on 'HORROR/CULT DRIVE-IN' on W.H.P.A. DITA will also talk about her Fall/Winter Line-Up ,my 'LOST-PILOT' Halloween Episode and DITA DIRT NAP's Upcoming 'Halloween' Vincent Price Double-Feature' show, my upcoming
Reviews in Count Gore's 'Creature Feature Horror Den' and my exciting 'future-plans', Birthday-Special in November as well as my 'Creepy Christmas Special' as well as my new Plans for a 'DITA DIRT NAP' FAN CLUB & much, much more only on 'CULT RADIO-A-GO-GO's 'HORROR HOST RADIO NETWORK' tonight, my little 'Spider Bites'!!! Where else can you find 'DITA & 'RENFIELD' sharing the 'scare-waves' ? Don't forget to 'tune-in' tonight!
Other 'MUMMY' Themed things to check out are '3 Stooges in 'WE WANT OUR MUMMY' & 'MUMMY'S DUMMY'S' and the mummy-flick; 'ANCIENT EVIL 1 & 2'! That's all folks!!!
Remember Next Week, more 'Mummy'-Fun with 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET THE MUMMY' and more.
Until then,
'CHAINSAW-KISSES',
DITA (Toilet-Paper Mummy) DIRT NAP
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@webtv.net
Please check out these cool sites; www.cultradioagogo.com www.legendfilms.com www.scarymonstersmag.com
4 more Christopher; www.christopherleeweb.com
DITA's 2 Blonde Bombshell Fave's @ www.jaynemansfield.net www.mamievandoren.com
Also check out a cool, culty CD Dita forgot to mention from my 'Jayne- Review' called 'TOO HOT TO HANDLE'
The title taken from the cult flick she made with 'Christopher Lee' also at Amazon.com & Mamie's new Wine on her site.
'Hick-up', good stuff!
DitaDirtNap.net
v
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS'
'A Jack Broder Production'
Directed By; Michael A. Hoey
Produced By; George Edwards
Starring; MAMIE VAN DOREN & Anthony Eisley & their Co-Stars; Bill Gray, Bobby Van, Pamela Mason
Run Time;87 Min.
Based On A Novel By; Murry Leinster. 1966
From the; 'Sirens Of The Silver Screen' (VHS)
Double Featured With;
'Las Vegas Hillbillies' A Cult-Film,1966.
Starring; The Battling Blonde Bombshells; Jayne Mansfield & Mamie Van Doren & Richard Kiel ('007' Movie Villain-Jaws) & Ferlin Husky & Country Singers Galore. 1966
Notice; Only 'Navy VS.' will be focused on!)
(Good singing & dancing by Mamie & Jayne but bad pacing, storyline & unfavorable cast is my only comment! Worth a look for Van Doren & Mansfield in same film, though.)
'DING-DING'
Welcome back, my little 'Spider-Bites,' to the 2nd Round of 'JAYNE MANSFIELD VS. MAMIE VAN DOREN'; A Battle Of The 'Blonde-Bombshells'. A 'Horror/Cult Monster Flick 'Cat-Fight' to the finish for your 'Guilty Pleasure!!!' I'm your 'Ring-Side Host' from the 'West-Coast', DITA DIRT NAP!
Now last week we had our first 'Blonde-All-Over' Contender, bringing her massive 'mammories' to the mat and into the ring with her entry of; 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA'! A 'B-Monster/Cult Hit, now appearing on 'YOU-TUBE' with it's Star, JAYNE MANSFIELD! Along with her Hubby Co-Star; Mickey Hargitay ('Lady Frankenstein'). Miss Mansfield faired very well in her bout with 'Tree-Monsters, An Ogre'/Greek Yetti, and a 3 Headed Hydra and Monster-Cleavage propped up to her chin!
Now this week her Contender steps into the Ring of 'B-Movie, Cult/Horror, with gloves on, 'chin-guard' in place and 'missile-launcher's' up front, with her entry of; 'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS', with her Co-Star; Anthony Eisley. She originally hails from Rowena, South Dakota, it's MAMIE VAN DOREN. 'LET'S GET READY TO........... 'R-U-M-B-L-E!!!'
Miss Van Doren enters this 'fight' with enough prior 'cult' flicks under her boxing-belt to fill a whole boxing ring! With B-flicks such as 'Voyage To The Planet Of Prehistoric Women', 'Sex Kittens Go To College', 'Beat Generation' incidentally both films
Co-Starring; 'VAMPIRA. 'Untamed Youth', 'Girl's Town', 'High School Confidential', College Confidential' & 'Vice Raid'. Shall I go on? Obviously, DITA is a big FAN of hers as well. Derek; The Vamperic Announcer Interrupts; 'Enough 'Bally-who' DIRT NAP!!! DITA responds;' 'Quite right!'
This grade B, Monster Flick, 'Navy VS. The Night Monsters' is supposed to be available on a 'Special Edition' DVD, but MIZZ DIRT NAP could not find it on amazon.com. VHS will have to do for now, kids, If any of you find it on DVD, please let Dear old' DITA know by scare-mail. Any-who this film, even though a Schlocky, sci-fi/horror flick still managed to be a guilty-pleasure/drive-in favorite for this ghoul!!! It would help to be seen at a 'DRIVE-IN' on a hot summer night!!! Preferably seated in a 57' CHEVY Convertible with high 'fish-fins' ('fish-fins' are a car style reference for the 'over 40' plus crowd, such as myself. LOL), 'drive-in' speaker strategically placed on 'driver's-side' door, so your date will have to lean into your shoulder to hear it!
As the 'Let's- All-Go-To-The-Lobby' Theme music plays, I bet you can just feel the fuzz from my tight, pink, 'angora' sweater now, can't you? Popcorn, 'Drive-in Snacks' & 'mosquito-spray' not included, hon! Now hurry over the gravel, back to your vehicle, cuz the 'count-down' clock on the 'Drive-In' screen is ticking. '3-2-1!' And now for tonight's 'knock-out' attempt Double-D FEATURE...................in this corner, MAMIE VAN DOREN in; 'NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS!!!
As the credits scroll across the screen our story starts with a group of Naval Officers, some of which are scientists, arriving
at a Navel Base w/Naval Nurses in tow. One of them being the infamous Miss Van Doren, playing, busty Nurse Nora who has a love scene in a jeep, complete w/hoaky-music cue. The 'Shirley' to her 'Laverne' is played by Pamela Mason. A brunette. The
storyline in a nutshell is; The whole crew becomes eventually trapped on afore mentioned 'military base' when 'Ice-Age' Vegetative-Monster Trees start to attack!
Yes, you heard 'Auntie-DIRT NAP' right, 'WHEN-MONSTER-TREE'S-ATTACK!!!' This time not on 'FOX'! 'Yikes, hold me closer, 'Drive-In ROB', cuz I'm a-skuuured!!! I guess that's what happens when you 'DON'T' talk to your plants? The walking 'Monster-Trees' look silly/fun and have little 'baby-spider plants' that when touched, burn your skin or in one actors case his whole face w/some sort of an 'acidic-vegan' goo. Hmmmmm! Note; to self........-acidic-goo' good for pesky, skin removal projects.
Now here are 'DITA's Things to Look For;
* Scenes with witty lines such as 'Next time, I'm getting a dog that's a vegetarian! 'Please lower your voice, this man is very ill.' 'That tree took his arm clean off, yeah, he's dead! Etc., etc.
* Any scenes in the forest with 'killer-trees' and cast members running 'to & fro'.
*All fight scenes, very staged, with 'biff, 'bam', 'pow' sounds missing' when actors fists are connecting with sparring partners face.
Not meant to be funny, but really is!
* DITA's favorite scene where 'Mamie's wearing a tight, yellow, sleeve-less top and tight white pants that zip in back. In this scene when crosses the room, watch for 'camel-toe' (attention; Count Gore!) in front and 'lift & 'separate' in the rear of said, 'white' pants! More importantly, when Miss Van Doren/Nurse-Nora crosses the room in this scene her breasts bob 'up and down' and do their own 'jiggle' dance. Mizz Dirt Nap suggests using 'slow-mo' & 'zoom' feature on your DVD remote when or if you decide to transfer this onto 'DVD-R' disc from your VHS copy like I did. Just a thought, dear readers.
* Scene where two officers stand by and do absolutely nothing to help a fellow officer who slowly and hysterically gets eaten by a 'tree-monster! So much for 'com-radarie', kids!
* Funniest scene in movie where 'tree-monster' tears off a man's arm, and if you zoom in, you see 'fake-cloth-arm' attached to the tree with a large 'safety-pin'! Too unintentionally funny.
This whole Production has a whole 'Unintentionally-hilarious'-'buttered-popcorn' vibe that won this 'Bone-Bitch' over and will hopefully do the same for you, my little 'coffin-creepers'. DITA gives 'Navy VS. The Night Monsters' 2 and 3 quarter SKULLS out of 3. Sorry but a few points were taken off for too many office scenes and editing 'those- scenes' out would have made the
pace of this fun flick just about perfect in DITA's humble opinion!
'LAS VEGAS HILLBILLIES', well the title speaks for itself! It was however followed up with a C-grade, fun/silly Sequel w/Joi Lansing taking over Mamie's part of 'Boots Malone' that DITA will be Reviewing in the future entitled, 'HILLBILLY'S IN A HAUNTED HOUSE' now on DVD.
Oh, my sides hurt from all this 'rib-tickling' at the 'Horror/Cult Drive-In'! Produced by my manager, Darell Erazo. An 'Under The Axe' Production & 'Different-From-Different-People' Entertainment airing this fall on W.H.P.A. Ch.36 DITA as usual doesn't want to tell you whole story, but I will tell you that the NAVY does employ 'fire-bombs', to 'fight-fire-with-fire!' So be
a dear, and click on the movie icon, next to my Review to get your own copy, tonight! 'Why, you may ask?' To see for yourself if the 'Drive-In' ready culty, walking, oozy-goozy, 'Monster-Trees' are really as cheesy-looking as they sound and if the NAVY & their 'Naughty Nurses' defeat them, silly?' DITA loved this 'so bad it's good' Monster Flick and stumbled upon it, even being listed on a cool site called www.badmovies.org and a DVD mention on 'Fangoria's' web site as well. I love this 'Mamie' Monster-Flick for all it's 'cheesy' ,ooey-gooey-acid skin-burning goodness but felt it needed more MAMIE, more screaming, more scenes
w/Monster-Trees and a much needed 'digital-remastering' on DVD! Not just a digital transfer from VHS, OH, AND, UH, more of Mamie's 'mammories'!!! Less 'Stock-footage' would also help. Hmmm, the Director must have went to 'Edward D. Wood Jr.' School Of Film Making. Not that, that's a bad thing, mind you!!! If only to 'BREAK THE ICE', ice-age vegetation that is! A 'BRITNEY' reference, Only DITA's 'hard-core' gay fans will get that one, hon!
So the winner of this 'Blonde Bombshell' Double DD's Horror/Cult Boxing Bout' by only a nose & a nipple
is.....................JAYNE MANSFIELD for her cult-fave Monster Flick, 'Hercules VS. The Hydra'!!! You can now hang up your gloves and do a victory dance, or in Jayne case , a 'Victory-Twist'! She was really into that at 'The Whiskey-A-Go-Go' here on Sunset Blvd. Congratulations Miss Mansfield and to Mamie' , you sure put up one 'HELL' of fight! A-tee,a-ha-ha,hee!' Yes, I know what your thinking, DITA cracks herself up. I know, we've been over that one before. A-n-y-w-a-y, as you leave my 'Horror/Cult Drive-In', folks, be sure to remove your speakers before you 'peel-out' in the gravel. If you accidentally pull a speaker loose, please turn it in at the 'Snack Bar', no really, do know how much those things cost? Their 'Vintage' you know. lol 'THANKS, for your patronage and have a 'horror-filled weekend!!!
'COMING TO THIS 'DRIVE-IN' NEXT WEEK; 'HAMMER'S'; 'THE MUMMY' with Christopher Lee & Peter Cushing.
In honor of 'Universal's new 'THE MUMMY' 3; 'Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor' in Theaters Aug.1rst, 08'
Until Then; 'Chainsaw Kisses',
DITA (Van Doren) DIRT NAP
Scare-mail appreciated at; DearDITA@webtv.net
P.S.
Check out 'MAMIE-TODAY', alive & well and still a 'GORE'-juss' 'SEX-BOMB' at 77 on her 'sexy' web site @ www.mamievandoren.com & sign her 'dream book'. Tell her DITA DIRT NAP sent cha'!!! It's filled with glamour pics'
from the 1950's & today, video clips, gossip, excerpts from her sensational, scandalous, 'kiss & tell' biography, that DITA
DIRT NAP highly urges to read, cuz I have at least 3 times or more, entitled 'PLAYING THE FIELD', now available on www.amazon.com & much, much more! Even Semi-nude pics then & now.......WOW!!! (warning; adult content) Also check out '3 NUTS IN SEARCH OF A BOLT' on DVD w/Mamie cool vintage 'Strip-Tease' number & new spicy 'Interview' both also showing on 'you-tube' & DVD available on amazon.com as well. Great-stuff!!! DITA is a huge, loyal fan!!! Rock on, MAMIE!'
DITA's 'starter web-site;
@
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA'
aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' (Italian Production)
Available in 'Adventures Of Hercules' 4-Disc Box Set-1962 (Trimark DVD) & VHS.
Starring; Dita's Idol, JAYNE MANSFIELD & her then Hunky Husband, MICKEY HARGITAY
Massimo Serato, Tina Gloriani, Rosella Como, Giulio Donnini, Arturo Bragaglia
('Gore'-juss) Costumes By; Dario Cecchi & Maria Baroni
('GORE'-juss) Sets By; Alberto Boccianti & Set Decorator; Nato Frasca
From A Story By; Alberto Mancha
Directed By; Carlo Ludovico Bragaglia
Produced By; Alberto Manca
Filmed At The Infamous; 'CINECITTA STUDIOS' in Italy. 1960
Greetings!
My little Blood-Bags. Tis I, Your 'Cyber-Space/Sex Bomb Hostess' w/the Most-est, DITA DIRT NAP! Back again this week with the' First half' of my Special 'Battle Of The Blonde Bombshells' Double-DD's Double Feature, that I call; JAYNE MANSFIELD VS. MAMIE VAN DOREN, named after their way-cool Coffee-Table Book pictorial of the same name. Available on Amazon.com, incidentally.
This week, we start off this 'Buzz-Bomb' bout with Jayne Mansfield's Culty, 'sword & sandal' Greek, Mythology/Monster Flick', now popular on 'YOU-TUBE' entitled, 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA' with her then hunky, husband, MICKEY HARGITAY ('Bloody Pit Of Horror' & 'Lady Frankenstein',etc.) playing the lead character 'Hercules'.
Then next week we have her 'sparring partner/Hollywood rival' MAMIE VAN DOREN, in the second half on this Monster Flick 'Versus' 'Double-DD's' 'Double-Feature' with her Entry of 'THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS', which by the way, kiddies, was once shown on one of DITA's Favorite past TV Shows, 'Mystery Science Theater' and once Horror Hosted by the infamous 'Sven-Ghoolie'!
Now, as most of you probably know, DITA is hugely inspired by the notorious '3 M's', which are 'Mansfield, Mamie & Monroe'!
DITA's look is inspired mostly by Miss Mansfield, of which I am a huge FAN!!! Why, you may ask? Cuz she was 'Simply-Divoon', silly! Also because she starred in a lot of 'CULT' films, which Dita adores more than the color 'pink' and of course 'leopard print' clothing.
One of her most fun 'cult-films' is one of DITA's 'LOST-EPISODES' that will be airing this fall/winter season on my show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' called 'THE WILD, WILD WORLD OF JAYNE MANSFIELD' (available on 'Something Weird' w/Boris Karloff's 'Mondo Balardo' as a second bill) that Mizz DIRT NAP Hosted but was lost before it was edited to be aired..........
BUT has recently been found and will finally be edited for airing at long last from 2004.
Now, on to the fun & never boring 'Cult-Hit' from Jayne, 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA'! 'Ooooooooh, 'Greek-Mythology', gladiator sandals, and a 3-Headed Hydra, you kids are gonna thank 'Auntie DIRT-NAP' in the morning! Let me first just say that Mickey Hargitay was a total hunk in this movie and will now be officially listed in my new 'little black-book' of fantasy crushes that were written in my recent 'Wedding Vows', of which doing windows, dishes and 'obeying' anyone are 'NOT' included! 'Tee-hee!' This 'cult-camp-fav' should be watched as a 'Mid-Nite Movie' with lot's of popcorn & a nice new pair of trendy 'gladiator sandals' on your feet. DITA must tell you that Miss Mansfield's breasts in this Monster Flick are so large and propped up that you could almost show the movie on them, if she were to stand still for the 'running-time' and just 'breathe-hard', she'll hear you ('Insert Jayne's Signature-Squeal, here.)!!!'
Jayne playing Queen 'Die-A-Nar-Rah, in a black wig is beautiful and sexy, if not 'over-the-top', in the best way possible. She plays dual characters, which means 3 wig changes, black, red and even purple, no foolin'!!! DITA owns 3 wigs in those colors as well and will be wearing them, one by one while Hosting this campy, cult flick on 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' this season. Along with my afore mentioned pet rat, aptly named 'MANSFIELD', complete w/pink tail and pink-bouffant hair piece & leopard-print collar!
'WHAT!!!' My pet rat can't have any 'taste' or 'style', what-so-ever???" Derek, The Vamperic Announcer interrupts, 'Let's get back to your Review, shall we?' DITA asks; 'Do you have a problem with us, Derek?' Derek; 'I guess I DO!'
Now where was I?" Oh, yes, the story line. Uh-hem. First Hercules wife is killed while he is out, by some shifty-Greek-thug types. When he finds out he sets out to get his revenge. He then meets the bra-bustin' Queen 'Die-A-Nar-Rah' (DITA read somewhere that Mansfield was pregnant at the time of filming and full of vitamin D', if ya get my drift and had to be cinched in round her waist with a metal-boning corset) which by the bi, every character in this film pronounces her character's name differently.
Hmmmmm, any-who, the plot and storyline at this juncture became a little confusing to this big-busted glamour-ghoul, 'BUT' still held my attention throughout the rest of this 'camp-fest' that Mizz DIRT NAP can't praise enough, or push you enough to see, uh, or a, purchase by clicking on the DVD Icon next to dear old' DITA's Review. The only place I found this fun 'sword & sandal' cult-saga on DVD was in the 'The Adventures Of Hercules' 4-Disc Box Set from 'TRIMARK'. although it is available on VHS by itself on 'Amazon' as well.
'DITA's 'Things To Look For' Out-Line;
** Jayne as the Evil Queen of the Amazons, in a red wig, who has turned herself into a look-a-like of Queen 'Die-Ahh-Near-Rah' , with the help of a 'sourcer-ress'/witch bee-cuz Hercules now has the 'hots' for 'Dee-Uh-Nar-A'! Uh, didn't his wife recently croak, by the blade of a sharp sword, recently??? What? No mourning period? DITA guess's not!!!
** Hercules ends up outside of the black-wiggged Queen's hood, Arcadia. Thus running into the cave looking for the 'Greek-thug-dude' who was responsible for his wife's recent death, instead finding a 3-Headed Hydra, that looks like a bad cheesy 'Chinese new year's float that happens to have the afore-mentioned 'Greek-thug-dude' hilariously in it's jaws, one-out-of-three heads, mind you and starts trying to slay it, but is hysterically bumped by one of it's heads. Now watch when Mickey/Hercules is bumped by this too-funny mon-stros-ity. He kind of does a fake stumble, likes it's really a heavy thump to his muscular body, that looks almost better in skirts than DITA does, by the way!!!( This is one of the reasons this film is on 'you-tube'!) LOVE IT!!! He does end up succeeding in chopping off on of the 'Hydra's three heads.' After all, plastic is recyclable, isn't it???'
** Any & all scenes where 'Hercules/Mickey' is running & jumping, falling or flipping over. 'Why, you ask?' So DITA could use her 'slow-mo' button on the DVD remote and at the same time, click the highest level on her 'zoom' button, to see if a 'beefy-butt-cheek' fell out or any other flying appendage could be seen, silly!!! What? As I stated before, 'I'm married, NOT dead.........uh, dead again, I mean!' 'Oh, my!'
** Any scene with Monsters.! 'Fun, fun, fun!!!' Let's see, there's a now 2-headed Hydra, a big, tall, hairy 'o-grrr' that looks more like a 'Greek-yetti' with big comical teeth. You know, the kind of fake, wax looking teeth you used to by at your local candy store, back in the 70's,to play with and eventually chew on?'
** Any scenes with Jayne/Good, Queen/Evil Amazon Queen writhing and posing dramatically, exiting dramatically, acting dramatically!!!' Ya gotta love it!!! She also likes to 'heath' her chest dramatic-ly as well! Too funny, and wasn't meant to be, but this kind of stuff just makes it fun & enjoyable!!! Miss Mansfield must have had a 'gaggle' of gay friends in her lifetime and even more
'gay' fans now! 'Drag Queens, please take note of how to perform in your next engagement, from Jayne's mostly 'campy' performance in this pic!!! And DITA means that in a good way, as I am a 'die-hard' fan and excitedly collect her films as they slowly land one by one on DVD, such as this cult-GEM!!!
** Scene where 'Evil Amazon Queen/Jayne in said 'red-wig' is trying hard to seduce the mighty 'Hercules' with her eyes!!! Miss Mansfield won many Beauty Queen Titles in her life time like; 'Miss Eight-Ball' & 'Miss Photo-Flash', 'Miss Fire-Cracker' and even 'Miss Cadillac', but never one as 'MISS EYE-POP'-1960', which she could have for this comic seduction scene where she heavily keeps 'popping' her eyes for all she's worth!' 'Again, LOVE it!!!'
** One of the end scenes where the Evil Amazon Queen/Jayne, again, red wig still pinned on tight, goes to her 'Valley Of The Old
Boyfriends 'who-spurned-her-and-were-turned-into- un-scary-Tree/Monsters' with her witch pal and is attacked by one the 'Ex-Boyfriend' Tree-Monsters'!!! Funny but 'KARMA' is a bitch!
Anyway, as I always say, DITA won't tell the rest of this 'Greek' mythology story or the ending but I will say that Jayne Mansfield and hubby Mickey Hargitay were fine specimens, the 'Tarzan' & 'Jane' of 'Hollywood', if you will! With this film, there is a happily ever after, BUT for whom? 'Hmmm?"
Here are the 'EXTRA'S' on this DVD 'Box-Set' of; 'The Adventures of Hercules' which DITA has only focused on for this Review of 'Hercules VS. The Hydra'! Now I can't wait to view the other 'Hercules' Flicks included in this Collection which are as follows;
*'LION OF THEBES'
*'THE TROJAN HORSE'
*'MEDUSA AGAINST THE SON OF HERCULES' ( Cool! Can't wait!)
*'THE TRIUMPH OF HERCULES'
*'HERCULES VS. THE SONS OF THE SUN'
*'HERCULES VS. THE MOLOCH'
* Very 'way-cool' TRAILERS of all of the films included in 'The Adventures Of Hercules' ( DITA enjoyed watching all of these
Trailers while munching 'MUCH' popcorn!)
DITA found this film very enjoyable to watch and was not bored for one moment! Isn't that what a films supposed to do, cult or not??? JAYNE & MICKEY have a 'Cult-Hit' on their on their hands, and Mizz DIRT NAP thanks them for that, my little 'Coffin-Creepers' and so will you!!! I have always loved and been a fan of Jayne Mansfield's & Mickey Hargitay's, especially his
Horror Films 'Bloody Pit Of Horror' and rest assured DITA will be Reviewing it in the near future as well as Mario Bava's 'HERCULES IN THE HAUNTED WORLD' which is another wonderful 'Hercules' Greek Mythology-Fantasy-Adventure Film as well!
Mizz DIRT NAP also loves the corny-ness of 'THE THREE STOOGES MEET HERCULES' too! Just my 2 Cents, for what it's worth! A pun, perhaps? Please check out the NEW, 'well-written' paperback BOOK by a 'Super-sweet Jayne Fan', that DITA highly suggests for a good read, entitled 'DIAMONDS TO DUST'; THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JAYNE MANSFIELD' By; FRANK FERRUCCIO which is full of some rare photos and is also available on Amazon.com, www.jaynemansfield.com as well as his beautiful website all about 'Jayne' @ WWW.JAYNEMANSFIELD.NET and on my little 'beginners' web site www.DitaDirtNap.net located at the very bottom of my Review.
Also check out my Internet-friend & Jayne-Fan Buddy', named Christa's web site @ www.pinkpages.com for all things Jayne!
A Special 'Shout' to all the 'Online Jayne Mansfield Fan Clubs, especially Kim Rosenthal and Frank Ferruccio, especially your heart-felt Book for all the hard and dedicated work you guys do for all of us Jayne FANS around the globe!!! 'KUDOS!!!
DITA DIRT NAP gives 'HERCULES VS. THE HYDRA' aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' a perfect score of 3 'Culty' SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS Score! As Jayne Mansfield's 'heart -shaped' Tombstone reads 'We Live To Love You More Each Day'! 'R.I.P.'
Remember next week, it's 'round 2' of the Blonde Bombshell' Monster Flicks w/MAMIE VAN DOREN's camp-horror-fest;
'THE NAVY VS. THE NIGHT MONSTERS'! See ya then, 'Chainsaw Kisses & 'Chi-Wah-Wah's,'
DITA ('Pink-Palace') DIRT NAP
P.S.
The part about filming 'Hercules VS. The Hydra' aka 'The Loves Of Hercules' in the book 'Diamonds To Dust' is on Page # 22 and the Book is from 'Outskirts Press'.
www.jaynemansfield.net
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersmag.com
SCARE-MAIL 4 DITA;
DearDITA@webtv.net
www.DitaDirtNap.net
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'
Directed & Produced By; DEL TENNEY ('I EAT YOUR SKIN' & 'VIOLENT MIDNIGHT')
Starring; Alice Lyon, John Scott, Allen Laurel, Eulabelle Moore, Marilyn Clark & Agustin Mayer
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC
Dark Sky Films DVD's (www.darkskyfilms.com)
1964 Running Time; 162 minutes
+Del Tenney Double Feature+
'The Curse Of The Living Corpse' 1963
Directed, Written & Produced By; Del Tenney
Starring; (A Very Young;) ROY SCHEIDER, Helen Warren, Margot Hartman, Robert Milli, Hugh Franklin & Candace Hilligoss
Rainbow Film Holdings, LLC. & Dark Sky Films
(Notice; DITA does a 'Mini' Review on this one, as it is not my 'Theme' Focus.)
'Hello Again', to all you 'Creature Feature Horror Den' Dwellers & 'DIRT NAP' Fans alike!!!
Tis I, DITA DIRT NAP!!! Your Mistress of Monsters, Horror Flicks and all things that go bump in the night!!!' And by 'things that go BUMP in the night', I don't mean 'B.J'. and I, on our recent 'Honey Moon' night! 'Tee-Hee!!!' Thank you for joining all of us here at 'Count Gore De Vol's' 'CREATURE FEATURE WEEKLY WEB PROGRAM'! As we celebrate this auspicious occasion of the Program's 10th Year ANNIVERSARY!!!
My, my, has it been ten years already? I guess with the lovable 'COUNT GORE' at the helm, running this 'Internet-Ghost Ship' Program (so to speak.) and cracking that lovable whip, to all of his honorable minions, of which there are many, that 'TIME' really 'DOES' fly, when your having FUN!!!' So DITA wants to take this time to wish this vonderful 'program', 'Creature Feature' and it's Creator, who for '10 Years' has wanted 'all your BLOOD, to be warm............and My Mentor, 'COUNT GORE DE VOL' a very 'HAPPY 10th YEAR ANNIVERSARY'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!! 'Here's to 10 more, plus!!!!!!!!
'RENFIELD' & I, were going to buy the COUNT a new Coffin for the occasion, but the Dealership informed us that they no longer make a Coffin that transforms into a 'HOT TUB' on wheels, equipped with 'LAVA LAMPS' in 'Blood-Bath RED"??? Hmmmmmm?
Any-who, now DITA, as promised, goes 'back to the beach' with my Review of; 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' for some sizzling 'Summer' Fright-Flick fun!!! Derek; The Vampiric Announcer asks; 'Oooooh, should I bring my Beach Ball?' DITA answers; 'Yes, BOTH of them! Uh, did I say that 'OUT' loud??? LOL
A-N-Y-WAY, as you may remember, many summers ago, here in the DEN, dear old' DITA Reviewed 'THE MONSTER AND THE BEACH GIRLS'! I guess my secrets out. Mizz DIRT NAP just loves Cheesy-Beach MONSTER Flicks!!!!! The cheesier, the better! DITA also promises to bring you more of them as they land, digitally re-mastered on DVD!!! As I squeeze into my
'Black-Widow'-'Spider Bite' Bathing Suit', and tie on it's 'Halloween-orange' swimming-suit 'wrap', complete with 'hand-cuff belt'.
I slather myself with 'SUN-SCREAM', grab my little black sun glasses and the latest 'ANNE RICE' Novel, hop in our car and head out to our new 'Beach House'! In 'MALI-BOO', of course, to lay out by our 'Haunted Pool Of Horror' tonight to catch some sun-light, uh, a-hem, I mean some moon-light, now that DITA's married to a Vampire. 'B.J.' just abhors the sun, you know! LOL As I settle in my chase-lounge chair by the fog-covered pool-side, my sun glasses shoved tightly into my skull 'eye-sockets' and lifting my black-lace veil, I flip on the old' time movie projector, carefully shining it into the reflection of the 'Haunted Pool' as a make-shift 'DRIVE-IN' Screen. Watching the credits float eer-rily on top of the green-lit water, DITA grabs her big bowl of jiffy-pop, places her new pet rat, 'MANSFIELD' on her lap and begins to watch this week's 'Drive-In Favorite', 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH'!!!
This 'Beach-Monster' fright-flick is from infamous 'Cult-Schlockmeister' Director DEL TENNEY! This film is also considered by some, to be the first 'Horror/Monster Musical'! It features music by 'THE DEL-AIRES' and one of DITA's favorite ditties, called 'THE ZOMBIE STOMP'! 'Love it!!! Download it, to your water-proof 'I-pod' tonight, my little Spider Bites!!! This 'Del Tenney Double Feature' DVD also includes the 'UNCUT' Schlock Version of 'T.H.O.P.B." instead of the 'sliced-up' TV Version, which in DITA's humble opinion, is a major PLUS for fans of 'Schlock', such as myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Other EXTRA's on this disc are as follows;
*An Extra 'Del Tenney' Horror Film Feature; 'THE CURSE OF THE LIVING CORPSE' w/the late Roy Scheider ('JAWS") & Candace Hilligoss ('CARNIVAL OF SOULS').(Very Cool Film!)
The Story in a nutshell is about a family in 1892 New England, whose family patriarch Rufus Sinclair, a well known 'control-freak', passes away, expecting his family to follow the rules of his will to a 'T'! If they don't, he promises to come back from the dead and kill each one of them individually, from whatever they fear most! Is he really dead...............or alive??? Watch, to find out!!! Great performance by a young Roy Scheider! Dita just wasn't pleased with the ending. Still, definitely worth a look!!! Watch for the cool scene with severed head literally on a platter!!! Mizz Dirt Nap will try that dish at her next 'Summer B-B-Q'!!! 'Tee-ha-ha-hee!" (A Special Shout 'OUT' to 4 of DITA's friends by the way, in the 'Show-Me' State, JENNI OLSON & PATRICK
SWERZICK & DOUG DRINKARD & CINDY & CO. and 5th in the 'south', my old buddy & a long time 'THE CULT' and 'YOU-TUBE' Fan, 'Billy-Ray' ! 'Hi All!')
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.C.O.T.L.C.' w/Del Tenney. (Very informative, DITA says, 'worth a listen'!)
* Photo Gallery; from both Films, including cool 'vintage' movie poster art! (DITA loves it when original movie poster art is included!)
*Theatrical Trailers for both films. ( DITA is more partial to the schlocky-cool trailer from 'Horror Of Party Beach' and will be using it on her show.)
* Interview With DEL TENNEY. (Loved it, Del retains his youthful candor throughout!)
*Audio Commentary; from, 'T.H.O.P.B.' (This is the kind of stuff fans like DITA love to listen to!)
'The Horror Of Party Beach' for all my fellow 'Horror Hosts' is a 'public domain' feature, which of course DITA will be showing on her Show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In' in the future!
The film starts out with 'DRAG' Race, (Dita doesn't know anyone who does 'drag' or do I ?) with Bikers' and 'Hot-Rodders' that of course, end up at the afore mentioned 'PARTY BEACH'! Where did you think? A nude beach, perhaps? Hardly, my little 'Coffin-Creepers'. That would change the 'Rating' altogether, hon! Next, as the plot 'wood' have it , a barrel of radio-active waste is dumped from a passing ship and splits open on a jagged rock at the bottom of the ocean, covering a human skull with 'black-ooze' that quickly creates a 'monster-man-zombie-giant-cat-fish-thingy' with large eyes and a even larger opened mouth filled
with........................'HOT-DOGS'!!!
Uh, I guess the teens from 'rock-n-roll party beach' had a giant 'WEENIE' Roast!!! 'Aaaah, DITA said 'weenie'!' 'WHAT???" Everybody likes a good, uh, 'weenie' Roast!' Right, Derek? Uh, Derek? Hello? Okay? ' Um, maybe he went to 'JOIN' those crazy kids at the 'weenie' roast??? Hope he brought his own stick? Any-who, the silly-cheesy looking monster makes his first and most memorable attack in the movie on the 'bad-girl' of the beach who already flirted with danger by playing the 'sex-me-up' dancewith one of the lead biker 'bad-boys' before swimming out to group of rocks after a fight breaks out between the beach-guys & the 'bikers' over said 'bad-girl'. As the ''weenie-roast' Monster climbs the rocks and slowly approaches, they play some 'fun-cheesy-monster-attack music'!!!
The music played during this scene, sounds like either a broken fog-horn or a tuba, jammed with..............weenies! Okay, okay, I know, enough with the weenie jokes! But DITA likes hers with lots of mustard! O-k-a-y, I'll stop! The Monster then attacks her and suck all her blood out. Camera shot of girl's leg dangling off of rocks into the water with blood/ketchup running down it! End scene! When her 'ketchup-covered-corpse', uh, oh, I mean blood-covered corpse reaches the beach, it sends the patrons of 'party beach' into hysterics and mayhem and....................... campy multiple killings ensue throughout the rest of the film!!
Some of the killings take place at an 'all girl slumber party, complete with wild 60's dance moves and strategically announced records being played while the girls toss out, pre-meditated lines like; 'Hey Suzie, what's this one called??? Jaynie; 'I don't know, whoever on this 'groovy' movie Soundtrack, silly!' Wink, wink, to the record buying audience back then, thinks DITA!!! The Monster now has multiply-ed for some strange reason..............and as the 'beach girls' say, they 'SMELL!!!' Eeeeeeew! 'Something smells like rotting fish, Peggy-Sue? Yeah! Something smells all-right, girls. Maybe it's your acting and this movie?
'What-e-v-e-r, DITA?' Just kidding girls! A-n-y way, groovy chicks get killed left & right, always with the fun/cheesy 'When-walking-stinky-fish-sticks Attack' music 'Cues' before every kill until they figure out a way to out-smart the 'monster-zombies' as people refer to them in the film! Too much fun for this glamour-ghoul, kiddies! Also watch for Director Del Tenney's very way
'cool-ahead-of-their-time-artsy-close-up-shots' in the beginning of the film of car radios, car wheels, hub caps spinning, close-ups, etc.
These shots remind DITA of similar shots used in the 'cult' films of the late great Director and favorite of Mizz DIRT NAP's, Mr. RUSS MEYER! DITA loves a good ole' Monster Film with bad acting, dated soundtracks and cool cheap-ass Monster Suits and last but not least a very high, all important 'CAMP' factor!!! Del Tenney's 'THE HORROR OF PARTY BEACH' has it all! Oh, and uh..........'giant weenies'!!!!!!!!!!!!! Couldn''t resist kids! DITA gives this 'Del Tenney Double Feature' DVD, 3 Skulls Out of 3 for 'The Horror Of Party Beach' just cuz I like 'schlock & roll' horror flicks with a fun, campy factor! Where else would you find a gem of a song like 'Zombie Stomp', I ask you? For 'The Curse Of The Living Corpse' DITA gives it 2 1/2 Skulls Out Of 3. I took off for the ending that left this 'Bone-Bitch' Reviewer scratching her head, uh,um, I mean wig!
Again, 'HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY' to COUNT GORE & his 'Creature Feature' Web Program that DITA is proud to be
a part of! 'Let's go 'WEB-SURFIN' now, everybody's learnin' how, come on and go 'web-surfin' with me at WWW.COUNTGORE.COM
As I dry off with my 'beach-towel' and put away my old' time movie projector until next week, I blow all of you.....
Chainsaw Kisses,
DITA ('Zombie-Stomp') DIRT NAP
Scare-Mail appreciated at;
DearDITA@webtv.net
p.s.
Check out my 'grass-roots' 'low-budget/no-budget' web site, soon-2-be-expanded
@ www.DitaDirtNap.net
or just click here for DITA's
favorite 'Horror/Cult' web links, etc.
http://community.webtv.net/HCDI36/TheWildWeirdWorldOf
'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'
From; 'Terror Tales'; Volume-1
Two Blood Sucking Epics'
'Ninja Vampire Busters'
'GEAR FILM DISTRIBUTION (INT'L.) LT.
Producer; Rover Tang, Executive Producer; Alan Tang
Assoc. Producer; Stanley Yen
Starring; Nick Chan, Simon Cheng, Stanley Fung. With; Jacky Cheung ('Wicked City') and
May Law, Vivian Leung, Manny Tse.
Screen Play; Barry Wong, King Wong, Jeff Yuen.
Action Directors; Wai Tung & Billy Kong.
Directors; Norman Law & Stanley Siu.
DVD Released In; 2005
Genre; 'Asian-Spaghetti-Horror'
'Greetings!'
My little WICKED-'Wedding Guests!'
Tis I, Your Newly-Wed of Horror, (Our Service Performed By; 'Internet Ordained'; Father-'RENFIELD', lol) DITA DIRT NAP! Wrapping up my Month Long Salute To 'Bridal-Themed Horror Flicks for all those 'June'-Brides about to embark on their 'Haunted Honey-Moon's'! So tie those last tin cans to the Bumper of 'DITA & B.J. ''Dragster-'Monster-Mobile, and TOSS all those 'Horror-Themed'-Wedding Gifts in the trunk (just push all those dead bodies to the back. LOL) & THROW those bats, uh, I mean that RICE, as we burn rubber, on the way to our; 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON'!!! Brought to you by; 'TERROR TALES'; Volume-1, as well as the other 'Blood-Sucking' Epic on this Double Feature Disc of 'Asian-Vampire/Horror entitled; 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS', this time my Hubby's Video Selection. DITA didn't nickname him 'Drive-In' ROB, for nothin!
Any-who, 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' starts out with a handsome Asian Couple/Newly-Weds checking into a nice Hotel Chain in China, to start their Honeymoon. The groom is a Cop by the way, kiddies. They check into their 'bridal suite' that hasn't been occupied for a long time for some strange reason??? 'Hmmmmmmmm?' They then begin to smell something stinky. A dead body, perhaps??? 'I'm just sayin'! ' Then they decide to go for a walk in the park. How sweet! The new Bride decides to go and check something out, thus leaving the new groom strolling by himself. The new groom is then approached by an older Female Vampire-Master (aka Vampire Buster/Slayer) and her lovely assistant. They try and warn the 'Cop/Groom' to leave, to avoid the dangers of forth-coming evil. Hmmm? He, being a man, doesn't listen, thinking their just crazy kooks, out for an evening stroll. Then I kid you not, as he's continuing his solo-stroll, a big scary, ugly ball thing, suddenly rolls on top of him. Knocking him down in the park-grass! No foolin'! Please tell dear old DITA, that China has 'pooper-scooper' laws for parks, like the U.S.!!!
Other-wise, 'Eeeeeeeew!!! After the creepy, weird, giant-ball thingy finishes it 'drive-by/roll-by 'evil transference', he is transformed-into.....................'Vampire-Cop-Groom'!!! By the way DITA notes that every time something evil/supernatural happens in this 'honeymoon-horror' flick, the character is bathed in bright green light. Must be an 'Asian-Horror' Folk-lore thing??? DITA turned green once! Then I realized I had stumbled into a Republican Party Fund Raiser, then proceeded to the nearest toilet to lose my lunch! Just a joke, my little 'coffin-creepers!' Tee-hee, tee-hee! Back to 'V.H.'!
Then 'Vampire-Groom-Cop' starts chomping down on nearby park patrons with a vengeance, and a pair of extra-long fangs! Cool scene!!! To make a long story short. Here's the rest of this 'honeymoon-terror-tale' in Mrs. Black-ula Jr. 'OUTLINE'-Form;
a.) 'Female-Ghost/Girl' dressed in a Slip, asks 'Groom-Cop-Vamp' if he will help her exact her 'REVENGE' on 'Evil-Hubby'
who killed her ex-Hotel Owner Father, then strangled her right on top of said father in their Hotel, then burying her in the hotel room wall! Thus the stinky odor smelled earlier in the film. b.) Bride & Groom decide they must help 'Female-Ghost-Gal' to exact her 'much-needed' ghostly revenge. Why, you may ask??? 'So 'ghost-girl' can cross over. Derek; 'The Vamperic-Announcer asks; 'Cross over to where. Bride-Zilla, uh, I mean DITA?' DITA; 'To the 'other-side', SILLY!' Geeeez! 'Don't you EVER watch 'GHOST WHISPERER?" Derek; 'What-evah?" 'A-n-y BOO! c.) They help 'Ghost-gal' along with Miss Vamp-Buster & her assistant to exact 'her 'revenge' because ghost-gal 'evil-ex-hubby' had her sign over the rights to the hotel chain before he killed her & her father, so he 'wood' become rich! 'Just call; 1-800-recycled-plots-r-us' 4 your storyline, TODAY!' Now back to our movie.
Female-Ghost-Girl' appears ( bathed in green) on 'evil-ex-hubby's' patio and ask him if he remembers her and if he still loves her...........and why did he 'choke-her-out'? Then she steps closer to him, all while he's shakin' in his boots and she...................??? As I usually say, 'DITA doesn't wanna tell the 'WHOLE' story, cuz..........there is more, my little infected 'Spider-Bites'! I'll just ask if the words, 'vampire-exorcism' (steel-bowls & chicken blood and customary yellow paper vampire-tag, culturally are included.) mean anything to you???
Last but not least, let DITA add that the visual sights of China, as their are many, are horrifically stunning and some cool martial arts moves are used, although not enough for my taste. Night club camera shots of vamps dancing is also included! Only minor low point on this film are the bad edits and transitions which tend to be 'choppy & abrupt', although reminiscent of 'Ed Woods' editing skills or lack there-of. I'm just sayin', hon!' Also the actor who plays 'vampire-cop-groom' is handsome, but not as sexy as my 'B.J.' 'Aaaah!' DITA must say, there is something to be said for a BIG, BLACK.............................................cape and a matching g-string that just MAKES the man, uh, I mean, that just makes a Vamp, more appealing to his skeleton-bride on their Honey-Moon, 'VAMPIRE-HONEYMOON' that is!!!
As for the other 'Asian-Vamp Fright-Flick' included on this very-cool 'double-feature' 'Terror Tales' DVD, simply entitled, 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS'....Oh, before I forget, there are no 'extras' included on either film except 'scene selection'. 'V.H'. is spoken in Chinese but Subtitled in English. 'N.V.B.' is over-dubbed in 'English' and spoken in 'Chinese' which ends up making in 'campy-fun' BECAUSE of the 'English-dubbing'! 'Love it!" That's why DITA refers to these films as 'Spaghetti-Horror' Films. You
know, done quick & cheap but still end up being 'guilty-pleasure' enjoyable! 'Ninja Vampire Busters' is a very short but fun 'horror/martial-arts-hopping-to-person-to-person-vampire-possesion-exorsism' flick which even includes a 'young-girl-child' in a flannel nighty catching the vampire bug, where upon fun-chase scenes, martial-arts and cool Asian horror & hilarity ensues. Somewhat borrowing a piece right out of 'The Exorcist' & 'The Devil With In Her'!
Wow! I just managed a 'Linda Blair & Joan Collins Horror Movies' Reference! 'Kudos' 4 me! 'Ninja Vampire Busters' was enjoyed by DITA just a tad more than ''V.H.' but make no mistake that both films are fright-fully fun and should be watched in the dark with 'YOUR' significant other, some left-over 'Wedding-Cake' and maybe a bottle a 'Spider-Bubbly' or as my hubby 'B.J.' suggests 'RED'-Wine, 'BLOOD'-Red, of course!
DITA gives 'VAMPIRE HONEYMOON' 2 and a half SKULLS out of 3 and 'NINJA VAMPIRE BUSTERS' a 3 SKULLS out of 3 SKULLS perfect score!!! Loved it!
Oh by the way, a special shout out to Robin H. and DITA's 'wiccan' Cousin-Angela! 'Blessed-Be Cuz and 'get-wel' soon! Both, who sent their 'Congrats" to this 'Screaming -Skull' Bride and her shy-sci-fi-guy-vamp on this extra- special-Summer for us!!! Thanks to all of the FANS who sent their spooky 'Congrats' via Scare-Mail! We are truly 'wickedly-blessed! Enjoy this Double-Feature from 'Terror Tales'! Speaking of 'double-features' I gotta go slip mine into my 'honey-moon' Nighty!!!
'Chainsaw-Kisses' to All who visit me here in the 'Creature Feature Horror DEN',
Next week, it's 'Back To The Beach', 'The Horror Of Party Beach' that is! Take Scare All,
DITA (Wedding-March) DIRT NAP
p.s.Scare Mail; DearDITA@webtv.net
Check out the 'way-cool' DVD Box Cover-ART for 'Terror Tales'! DITA thinks it would make great a T-Shirt or Large-Size Poster for our Foyer.
Tee-hee! By the way we're Registered @ 'Hot Topics' ! Just Kidding, my little 'Groovy-Ghoulies'.
Thanks to Count Gore for his gift of matching
'his' & 'hers'
'CountGore.com' T-Shirts in BLACK (xxl & m) L.O.L.
As always please web-surf @
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
& WWW.SCARYMONSTERSMAG.COM
Check out their fright-fully cool new, 'SCARE 'N' ROLL BASH ISSUE # 67 on New- Stands now with 'DON SULLIVAN'
& 'JEANNIE CARMEN' on the Cover! Great Job on this fang-tastic Issue and all the hard work of the Publisher & Editor-In-Chief, Mr. Dennis Druktenis! Send some scare-mail to let him know of the good work , he and his STAFF put into each Issue just to show your appreciation!!! Tell em' DITA sent cha, LOL
Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb
One of the more unique and creative independent low budget films landed in my DVD player recently. Imagine a newly produced film staring Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney Jr., Lionel Atwill, Peter Lorre, George Zucco, Barbara Stanwyck, playing opposite Leanna Chamish (who makes a wonderfully wicked Queen) and a host of Baltimore based actors. Well, you don't have to imagine too hard, just pick up the DVD, "Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb."
Producer Gary Svehla and director Susan Svehla have used modern technology that was available only to Hollywood a few years ago to create a film that has the look and feel of some of those classic black and white films of the 30's that we love so much. Using "green screen", digital photography and editing they were able to put their actors into scenes that are just graphic representations, have them interact with a number long dead stars and a create a variety of unique combinations. The look is classic horror-noir.
The story itself goes back to Lugosi's "Chandu the Magician" for many of it's aspects. A group of not too reputable archeologists break into an Egyptian tomb and unleash a killer curse. Soon, spunky newspaper reporter Fay Kendal is leading a group of adventurers on a quest from London to Scotland and finally Egypt to find the missing Rick Banning, who may have discovered the missing city of Lemuria and it's evil and newly resurrected Queen Amanetor.
As one of my friends put it, "This is a great Saturday afternoon popcorn film!"
While I certainly admire the creativity and effort that went into making this film, I also have to point out that the film makers really bit off more than they could chew in some cases. Such things as CGI fire and smoke don't work well in Hollywood and aren't any better here. The acting goes from tongue in cheek to way over the top. Some of the scenes with classic stars seemed forced....a lot! But no one is going to buy this film for it's production values. They're going to buy it and watch it with a BIG tub of popcorn because it's fun and brings back memories of movies like they don't make anymore.
So, the next time you're looking for a guilty pleasure DVD, check out "Terror in the Pharaoh's Tomb."
Count Gore De Vol
'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2'
(Asian/Fantasy/Martial Arts/Horror-Drama)
A 'MANDARIN FILMS Production
Directed By; DAVID WU (A Chinese Ghost Story/editor, DR. VAMPIRE, actor,
JOHN WOO's; 'ONCE A THIEF'-TV; editor, etc.)
Executive Produced By; Ronny Yu ( Director Of; 'Bride With White Hair' Part1 & 'Bride Of Chucky', etc.)
Starring; Brigitte Lin Ching Hsia ('Chungking Express') , Christy Chung,
Leslie Cheung ('Farewell My Concubine'), etc.
'SPECIAL WIDESCREEN PRESENTATION' DVD 1993
Hello Once Again, My Creepy little 'WEDDING CRASHERS'! Tis I, your 'NIGHT-MARE-IN-A-VEIL', Bridal-Themed Horror Host, DITA DIRT NAP!
While I sit here, recovering from my recent 'Bach-lerr-ette' Party, thrown for me by 'Renfield' and some of my 'Ghoul-friends'!
I now have a set date, AND........................a ring! June 26th and the ring is a rather large, rectangular cut faux-Ruby, in bright Halloween Orange, of course! 'B.J.' out-did himself! LOL Any-who, this week Mizz DIRT NAP continues my month long Salute to all the 'JUNE-BRIDES' with my next 'Bridal-Themed'-Horror Flick! By going back to Asia, Hong-Kong specifically, for the Sequel to 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR', which was from Director Ronny Yu ('BRIDE OF CHUCKY', etc.), that DITA
Reviewed way back in 2002. The Sequel is entitled, what else.............................'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2' !
This time the Director is David Yu. By the way, a special shout out to DITA's friend in St. Louis, Mo., 'THE DIL-DOE LADY,' (Kind of like an 'Avon Lady' but not as discreet! LOL) and her Hubby, 'ANDY' the Artist, BOTH are fans of John Waters, Marilyn Mason, Cult & Horror Films, Ron Jeremy and, uh, Adult Films shown at their Parties, BUT in 'MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER' mode/style, WITH the sound turned down! Really, no foolin'! By the by; 'THE DIL-DOE LADY' will be seen Hosting the Cult-Film 'SIN'-DERELLA' on my Show, 'Horror/Cult Drive-In'. 'Sin-derella' was Produced by; Charles Band! He now Directs and Produces Horror Films for 'FULL MOON PICTURES'! Steph C. AKA 'The Dil-Doe Lady' may also Host some Horror Films for 'H.C.D.I.' as well! Thanks 'Dil-Doe Lady' 4 the cool 'MONSTER MOVIE' Calendar from the 'Museum Of Modern Art' you 2`gave Dear Old DITA!!! LOVE IT! For the month of 'JUNE' it shows 'THE FLY' w/Mizz Dirt Nap's favorite Horror Icon, VINCENT PRICE! Thanks to 'Renfield' for coming back to my neck of the dark woods recently for brain-storming on the future 'Dita/Renfield Project `& mini 'Bridal Shower' get together. Be sure to visit 'RENFIELD' in the 'Power Room' by clicking THE POWER ROOM .
Now for 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2'! This fun Bridal Sequel manages to mix Ancient Asian Folk-lore, Martial Arts, Horror & camp all together quite nicely, in this second outing from Hong Kong! DITA loves Asian-Horror Films and will be dipping her boney-fingers into more of it soon, my little infected Spider Bites! DITA also highly suggests checking out the first
film if you can. Which can also be found by clicking on the DVD Icon next to this Review of 'B.W.W.H.2'! It was fang-tastic and remains one of my favorite 'Bridal-Themed Horror Films of all time!!! Well, besides Universal's 'BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN' which DITA will Review in the future! 'The Bride With White Hair 2' starts out with the angry, KILLER Bride, now a very powerful WITCH with KILLER Hair (literally) & strong, evil, murder-ous powers, and uh, thing for hanging out in trees! Derek; 'The Vampiric Announcer interrupts; 'Waiting in trees, for what, DITA? Waiting for angry male mobs to try and punish her for her last, violent 'murdering-spree' from Part One, SILLY! Derek says; 'I'm riveted! 'Do go on!" 'Well, Derek, she basically dares them to F' with her! They of course, under-estimate the power and RAGE, of a woman/witch scorned and they quickly become victims of her long, strong, white, bouncing and mis-behaving, evil octopus-like hair.
Some of the Clan, she strangles to death............WITH her hair and some she does the ole' 'wrap around & snap'..............uh, till
their head tears off!!! 'Eeeeeeeeew!' Let's just say, DITA wouldn't want to be the 'Hair-Stylist' that has to give this Bitch, um, I mean Witch a 'wash & set'! 'Yikes!!!' Now her hubby from the first flick is now so upset for his angry, violent Bride that he climbs
a snow-covered mountain and just waits in the cold, cold snow-blizzard! Waits for what, you may ask??? For the 'Special-Ancient-Flower', that can only be found on cold snowy mountains in Asia.
As you all know, I NEVER like to tell the whole story so..............Let DITA just leave you with an Ancient Chinese Proverb; (pertaining to the ending of this Film.)
'Love is like a house on fire,
'Till Death Do You Both Shall Part!'
Now get to clicking on that Icon next to dear old DITA's Review for your copy tonight! Mizz Dirt Nap suggests watching it on your 'HONEYMOON' in................'TRANSYLVANIA'! Where else did you expect? 'The Poke-A-Nose' Tee-hee! Last but not least , here are the 'EXTRAS' on this disc;
*Filmographies & Bios of Actors & the Director (Nice Touch and suggested Reading By DITA)
*Languages; English, Cantonese & Mandarin
* English Subtitles
* Trailers (Mizz Dirt Nap highly suggests watching the Trailer included for 'Bride With White Hair' Part One! Fun stuff!!!
DITA gives 'THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR 2';
2 and 1/2 Skulls Out of 3!
I can't suggest this film enough especially for Film Students that want to be and hopefully will be influenced by beautifully shot, lit edited and Directed Asian-Horror Drama's such as these 2 films, both 'B.W.W.H.1' & 'B.W.W.H.2' from the wonderfully-horrific library of 'Hong Kong Cinema" and it's numerous FANS like me!
'RETURN TO THE LAND OF ANCIENT MAGIC, HORROR and LEGENDARY ADVENTURE & Fairy Tales,
with me, DITA (Garter-Belt 4 Real-This Time) DIRT NAP
P.S.
Chainsaw Kisses to the following wickedly-fun websites;
www.legendfilms.com
www.cultradioagogo.com
www.scarymonstersMAG.com
Check out Monster Bash 08' this weekend.
SCARE-MAIL;
DearDITA@webtv.net
ELVIRA'S; 'MOVIE MACABRE' (TV Show)
Featuring; 'Devil's Wedding Night'
AKA 'THE BRIDES OF COUNTESS DRACULA'
From the Original Story; 'The Brides Of Countess Dracula By; Ralph Zucker & Ian Danby.
'Movie Macabre' is from; 'SHOUT FACTORY' DVD (www.shoutfactory.com)
This Episode; 1982 a QUEEN 'B' PRODUCTION (www.elvira.com)
Starring; ELVIRA- 'MISTRESS OF THE DARK'
Played To Perfection By; Cassandra Peterson.
Also appearing as Elvira's, AUNTIE VIRUS, Actress; Eve Smith.
Directed, Produced & Written By; Larry Thomas
Elvira's Theme; Mark Pierson
Executive Producers; Cassandra Peterson, Eric Gardner & Dick Johnson.
Run Time; 98 min.
+
'The Devil's Wedding Night' From; 'Dimension Pictures' 'A Virginia Films Production'
Starring; Mark Damon (Plays Twin Brothers) & Sara Bay as Countess Dracula,
Esmeralda Barros as her Zombie Servant, Francesca Romana Davila, Ciro Papas,
Alexander Getty, George Dolfin & Stephen Hopper. Music Composed &
Conducted By; Vasil Kojucharov
Directed by; Paul Solvay (1970?)
Hello again, My little 'COFFIN-CREEPERS'!!!
Yes, it's Me, DITA 'Always A Brides Maid. Never A Bride' DIRT NAP!!! But alas, all that will change now that Mizz DIRT NAP will finally, at long last, will be 'legally' marching down the 'Wedding Isle' after a long semi-open 11 year Engagement to my
low-key/behind-scenes 'Silent Partner' 'Black-ula Jr.' aka 'Drive-In Rob'!
DITA & 'B.J.' (See picture at left, B.J.'s the one in the cool Elvira T-Shirt, incidentally available on her fang-tastic website@ www.elvira.com ) have known each other over 18 1/2 years now! He even knew me when I was Rox-anne. (Google me, if your curious.) Whew*! Who knew in this day and age that a neurotic Skeleton-Ghoul & a 'SCI-FI Channel' obsessed African-American Vampire could ever be allowed legally (like everyone else) to take that walk down the aisle to Wedded Bliss in the state of good ole' California? SNIFF! SNIFF! I think I'm gonna cry?
Derek (The Vampiric Announcer) interrupts; 'Dita?" 'What about your endless crushes; Shia Le-Buff, Johnny Depp, 'Candy-Man', Christopher Lee, your date/dinner with 'Renfield', etc., etc., etc.? 'DITA' answers; 'I said I was getting married! 'NOT DYING! Again. Derek asks; 'How many times have you died, anyway???? DITA; 3 OR 4 times, but, uh, who's counting? Besides 'RENFIELD' was a perfect gentleman on our date to see 'PLAN 9', after-slugged-him. LOL Besides, I'm having it written into my vows that fantasy crushes are okay! Can I do my Review now, Mr. Nosey? Derek says; Um, okay, sure and congrats on the upcoming nuptials, DITA! 'Thank you, ever so!'
Now, as for Elvira Hosting 'DEVIL'S WEDDING NIGHT' on 'MOVIE MACABRE'................her classic TV Show starts with her cool & creepy opening, which starts with ELVIRA answering a creaky, slow opening door w/lots of fog & spider webs. Then she asks, 'Who's there? 'Is that you, I've been expecting you! 'Come in. 'Don't be afraid. 'I won't BITE, and your bound to have a good time! 'Or my name isn't..........'E-L-V-I-R-A!' 'Like DITA said, 'CLASSIC!' The show title then comes up in big yellow letters, over red, flickering candles, while a were-wolf howls in the background. All the while, 'ELVIRA'S THEME' music plays in the back! Along with the sound of wind howling, a flash & crack of lightning and thunder and one more werewolf-howl-4-the-road! Then cut to ELVIRA opening the Show on her antique', red velvet Horror Hosting Couch! 'This, is how it's done, my little Spider Bites!' 'So gothically-cool, so sexy, so campy, so.............ELVIRA, 'Mistress Of The Dark'!
Her couch is also surrounded by lot's of glowingly-lit candle cobra's, nails painted jet-black, heavy Goth-